my first 10k run!

I had my first 10k run last July 24 at the DKS Fun Run, a run for the benefit of the Savings Sights program of ERIS.

And I didn't expect to feel this much accomplished. I thought we'd finish it in 1:30 hr or more but we clocked in at 1:18hr. It's "we" because I had a buddy. Yes a buddy. And it really does help if you have a buddy in your runs especially if you're running a certain distance for the first time. Although we weren't running all the way (we walked a bit for say some 30 sec at certain points), but still it was an accomplishment. So happy that a 10k run is not impossible at all. I wish to run more 10ks in the future, then progress to a 21k and hopefully a full marathon! =)

Congratulations to all the finishers! Most importantly we were able to help the blind kids and give them a chance to see a brighter future.

Team W.Rec.K Runners

My team in the office is also my running team, isn't that cool? =)

When Lactacyd sponsored an all-women run race, me and my officemates/friends/runningmates decided to sign up for the relay. It will be a 21k distance with the 1st runner doing the 10k stretch, the 2nd for the 5k, the 3rd and 4th runners doing 3k each. Naturally, the 10k went to Yvette, being the fastest and most healthy amongst us. Then I took the 5k, Ruby and Beth did the 3k's.

What was also "cute" for this race was that there was a Best in Costume award. The teams can dress up any way they like so long as they use the official singlets. We had a lot of ideas but we ended up donning a cheerleader costume. We were in skirts of pink and white. And we had pompoms. We ran our distances in our costumes (and that includes the pompoms!). Some other teams were really creative - they had tutus, dressed up as women in generation (i.e. woman-baby, woman-teen, woman-preggy, woman-granny), dressed up as French ladies, etc. The top prize for the relay was a whopping 70 thousand pesoses plus gift certificates. And obviously if this was the prize at stake expect seasoned runners to be joining the relay. And as for us, recreational runners, we just settled for the fun and experience we gained from the event. At least we didn't finished last. =)

Team Woman Run by Lactacyd was last June 27 at McKinley Hill. (Yeah, the uphills really killed me.)

Celebrities I spotted were Iza Calzado, Tessa Prieto, and Rovilson Fernandez. I didn't see Karylle and Robin Da Roza but they were there.

Our team finished with a time of 2:27:34. I finished my 5k in (a disappointing) 37 mins. Not an improvement from my previous time. So I am a bit sad, but then what can I expect when I didn't really practice enough. And I was afraid the "blackout" spells will happen again. On the bright side, I was happy overall as we ranked 63rd among the 84 teams that joined. As I said we weren't last! And we finished the race, with no one hurt. And most importantly, we looked so darn cute in our pink and white ensemble.

Superduper saya!!!

Go Team W.Rec.K Runners! Till the next relay.

Addicted!

Adik! That's what a friend of mine said to me whenever I say I'm joining another fun run. hahaha... I must admit, she's right! I am addicted to running and so is she (hahaha) Kasama ko kya cya sa mga runs na yun.

Anyway, in May alone, I joined a total of 3 fun runs, almost one run a week.
May 16 - Chase the Sun,Neutrogena
May 23 - San Mig Coffee Bay Run
May 30 - Nature Valley Run

My PRs for the above were, 22mins (3k), 38mins(5k), 42mins (5k). Kinda slow but mind you in those 2 runs, I never walked (yah maybe I did a lil on Nature Valley). I just did a slow pace, just jogging not really minding my time but more of endurance.

I'm pretty happy with the outcomes that's why this June, I am signing up for 2 fun runs. And I'm running all 5k! My target is 30mins. I'll be putting speedwork into my runs this time.

It's kinda funny, when a month ago, I said to myself I probably will never move up to the next level. Running/jogging is just not for me. It weakens my legs and I just couldn't run straight for 15 mins. But it all changed when one night while running around the Boni High Street outer circle, I was able to run 3 rounds w/o stopping. I used the technique my unnamed coach told me - running is also a mind game, think beautiful thoughts when you run. Your body will tell you to stop but try to fight it if you can. Amazingly, I was able to do it! =)

I wanna keep on running and running. My dream is to run a marathon by the time I'm 30. And I wanna run the NYC and London marathons. If things go well, then maybe Boston Marathon. hehehe...why not? Anything is possible!

Adik!!!

Love Yourself. Be True to Yourself.

Bo Sanchez's blog post is just too long... So I'll just post the link... It's a really nice article. It made me feel good about myself, of what I have and of what I have not.

HaPPY reAding!

http://bosanchez.ph/be-true-to-yourself/

Run

True to one of my New Year's resolution, I started getting involved in running. I do hope I could really keep this up! I seriously need to lose weight. This started out with joining the Century Tuna's Superbods Run. It was just all for fun. My roommates and I have never really joined a fun run, and we just wanted to experience it (something we can add to our stories for our grand kids, and FB updates of course). And believe it or not, it is addicting! Then my friends from work wanted to join too and wanted to regularized our running activities,like we jog on TTH at Boni High Street. My second fun run was the Earth Day run by NatGeo. My time improved, from 30 mins (CT run) to 25 mins (Natgeo). Not bad, eh! Then I joined the PGH run, which was a different experience also. I had an instant running coach! He just came from out of nowhere. Turns out he was just a regular in that area, was just doing his usual jog. Oh well, I was glad he chose to coach me. Learned lots from him. :)I didn't improve my time in this run though, but that was okay, coz if I had been a bit faster, I wouldn't have met him. No names were given. No exchange of numbers. Don't know if I'll ever meet him again. But thanks, coach! whoever you are. My next run is in the next 2 weeks. That's the Neutrogena run. Then I have another one on the 30th of May. I will be running 5k! First time in history! The others were just 3k.

Well, we all start slow, and short distances but we will always get there in time. =) Then we get faster, farther...

Run now!!!

Predictions for B I S D A K S frenz

Here's my predictions for my Manila-based Cebuano friends in the next 2/3 years...

Let's do this by household.

J and R are starting to develop special feelings for each other. At first they keep this a secret to the group. But then nothing as special like this will be a secret for a long time. The group are happy for them.

F will finally have his wish of a baby girl.

MC will move to Canada. He's seeing a Chinese-Canadian lady.

H will try to work thing out with luvz B.

E and new beau will start their wedding preps. Everybody is invited to the wedding in Cebu!

L will finally realize that there's no hope for her and Ct. But some guy is trying to win her heart.

Ct still won't have a gf, but the group still will question his sexuality. Are Ct and housemate an item? Whatever his preference, we still luv him.

C will be very very active with her Christian community. She'll be able to convince housemate B to join.

B will break up with current beau. Career will be her priority.

K and M will have a baby.

E will get back with ex. Ex will finally move to Manila.

Ch will still be single and will be very serious with hobby photography and he will make money from it.

Bh will still be single. And she'll get another chance to travel to Europe.

Jo will propose to gf. Wedding will be in the next year after year of proposal.

P will vacay in Oz. He's seeing a wonderful girl.

And as for me, ahmmm, I will still be based in Manila. Someone is making me smile. I will be able to enjoy a vacay in a faraway land.

so there they are!!! I'm uber excited next year to check if any of these will come true.

Stuck With You by Huey Lewis

A favorite song...
Someday, somehow, I'm gonna be singing this song...
And I wish it comes sooner than I think..

We've had some fun, and yes we've had our ups and downs
Been down that rocky road, but here we are, still around
Thought about someone else, but neither one took the bait
Thought about breaking up, but now we know it's much too late
We are bound by all the rest
Like the same phone number
All the same friends
And the same address

Yes, it's true, I'm happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it's true, I'm so happy to be stuck with you
Because I can see that you're happy to be stuck with me

We've had our doubts, but we never took them seriously
And we've had our ins and outs, but that's the way it's supposedto be
Thought about giving up, but we could never stay away
Thought about breaking up, but now we know it's much too late
And it's no great mystery
If we change our minds
Eventually, it's back to you and me

Yes, it's true, I'm happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it's true, I'm so happy to be stuck with you
Because I can see that you're happy to be stuck with me

We are bound by all the rest
Like the same phone number
All the same friends
And the same address

Yes, it's true, I'm happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it's true, I'm so happy to be stuck with you
Because I can see that you're happy to be stuck with me

I'm so happy to be stuck with you
I'm happy to be stuck with you
I'm happy to be stuck with you

29th

So I just turned 29 yesterday...

Wow! I have lived this long on earth! I couldn't believe I'm so near to 30, that age when most people have accomplished a lot in their lives - traveled to a lot of places, owned a condo unit or a car, starting a family of their own, etc. And when I reflect on my own life and see how much I have accomplished, I could only sigh. Sigh for the reason that I still don't have my own car or house, haven't traveled enough, and have nothing on my savings account (though, I have been paying for insurance and pension plans, would they count?). I haven't really achieved much. I don't have that wow position in the company I work for. I'm just plain ordinary 29 year old woman, with no boyfriend. But you know, I don't actually feel poor and helpless. And that's what I realized yesterday, the 24th of March, my birthday - that I am uberly and richly blessed. When I count the wealth I have accumulated over the years - the friends I've made, the people I've met, the experiences I had, the family that I have - it's immeasurable. I can only thank the God Almighty for taking good care of me, for giving me all these blessings. Amen.

Love love love (Dear John and The Time Traveler's Wife)

Love love love is my theme this weekend. Saturday night we watched Dear John, an adaptation of Nicholas Sparks' novel of the same title starring yummy Channing Tatum and the pretty Amanda Seyfried. It was indeed a tear-jerker, emotion-filled, and so luv-full. What more can you expect from Nicholas Sparks? :) But then since I have already read the book, the movie didn't bring me much tears. Still, it didn't fail to capture my heart. I should say the essential emotions and the poignant parts of the book were captured in the movie, although some parts were altered. The ending itself was different from how it ended in the book. In the book, it wasn't mentioned that Tim died and that Savannah and John reunited. The book had a rather sad ending but the movie didn't. Well then, it's always like that. The books are never the same as on the movies. I'd also like to add that when you have already read the book and then you watch the movie after, expect that it won't really affect you as much as how it was when you're reading it. If I hadn't read Dear John beforehand, I'd have cried buckets of tears like my friends who watched with me.

This weekend too I have finally finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife. Finally, after a month with me! And what can I say? It's a wonderfully written book. Intensely romantic and sexy. Niffeneger is truly an artist. The way she uses words and how she describes the situation, the event, the place, the emotions - it's just fantastic. I am looking forward to reading her novel, Her Fearful Symmetry.

I am still trying to get hold of a copy of the movie, The Time Traveler's Wife. When I was reading the book, it's Eric Bana's face and body that comes to mind. It's his voice I hear. So I really do want to watch the movie and just want to know if he was able to give justice to the Henry character. As to Clare's character, I am unsure if Rachel McAdams was the right actress to portray her but then again her sweetness in The Notebook was undeniably just right for the young Clare.

So yeah, I do recommend watching and reading both books. Surely not to be missed for someone who loves to read! ;)

Happy love month!

Vanilla Twilight by Owl City (Oh i luv this!)

Lyrics | Owl City lyrics - Vanilla Twilight lyrics

2010

What do I want to accomplish on this year of the Metal Tiger? Here's my simple list:

Family travels
This year, I want my travels to be with my family. Be it a trip with my siblings or a trip with my parents or the most bongga would be a trip with the whole family. I already have a planned trip in July, and that's in Hongkong with my mom and sis. I wish and pray hard it'll be one safe, fun and truly memorable trip. This would be my mom's first trip abroad. I also pray she'll be healthy enough for this.

Career
I am still hoping that the pay raise and bonus would be enough to make me stay with my present employer. I still do wish to stay another year.
I want to deepen my knowledge regarding my job. So I wanna read books, articles etc about it.

Friendships and Love
I've really built stronger bonds with friends this year. And I've added a few more to this roster. On love? I guess this is the most unexpected thing in '09. It's complicated and one that I vow to uncomplicate this 2010. In simple words, END it. Yes, END that which makes it wrong and complicated. And I hope a new love comes and makes it easy to do.

Faith and God
I still want to keep my relationship with God. Go on reading the Bible. Continue those prayer times. Spend much more time with Him alone. In my busy and chaotic life, a moment with Him allows me to think straight and clear, and veer me away from danger.

Health
Be very vigilant when it comes to what I put into my mouth! Really, I want to avoid meat as much as possible. Eat more veggies and fruits. Exercise a lot! I plan to enroll in a dance class. Jogging and badminton should be done more often.

Childhood dreams
Now is the best time to start fulfilling my childhood dreams.

Money! Wealth!
Saving money has never been a walk in the park for me. In the past years, I've always made this my new year's resolution and I always failed. This year, I want to achieve it!!!! Credit card debt at end of the year should go down to PHP1k! Bank savings at an undisclosed amount (but I did mention this in my resolution '07).

And those are all of it! My fingers are crossed. I can do this!!! Help me, God.

The Year That Was...2009

I'd like to reflect the year that went by, 2009. The past year had indeed been colorful, and difficult and intriguing and I may add interesting too.

Laag-wise, I've been to more places this year than ever. Though I wasn't able to go outside Pinas, but yeah this year is my most travelled year. Here's a list of the places I've been to:
1 - Baguio (2nd time)
2 - Puerto Galera
3 - Anawangin
4 - Mt Arayat, Pampanga
5 - San Jose, Nueva Ecija
6 - CamSur Water Complex
7 - Star City, Pasay
8 - Boracay
Not too many, I realized but when compared to the previous years, 2009 tops. Also, this is my most sociable year - went to a lot of parties and met new people. But sad to say, of these new people I met no one was really love material. :P
On the love aspect, I don't know how I should say it... It is not worth sharing the details. My principles were put to a test. It's a complicated situation. It is one I never imagined myself being caught in. I just hope that for 2010, I will have the courage to uncomplicate it. I pray so hard for this.

Family-wise, lots of good and bad things happened. My sis Cha shifted course in college, not sure if this is bad or good. But I think it is both. Christine got a real job as a nurse. But she failed her NCLEX. Mama was able to travel to Manila alone (considering that last year she could hardly walked on her own) but later of the year, she got hospitalized which got all of us very worried. My bro sold his car. Finally he realized it's just too expensive to maintain one. And he bought himself a DSLR, instead. Lola wasn't able to go home on a night. She probably got lost on the way home. This is something we still don't know what to do to prevent it. My lola is already "ulyanin". :(
One good thing anyway for me was that I was able to spend both Christmas and New Year in Cebu with my family after 2 yrs of spending only Christmas with them.

Friends? I got new set of really good friends this 2009. I mean really good ones, ones you can keep forever. I had new set of housemates and neighbors. Sometimes, life had not been easy with them but all in all I learned something from them; underscoring my belief that each person is a lesson.

2009 had indeed been an eventful and controversial year. Good and bad things happened. The good to keep me smiling and hoping. The bad to make me strong and to make me declare I have truly lived and loved!

Thank you and goodbye 2009, hello 2010!

I got a book this Christmas!

I love books, so uber in love with them! So that if I am able to purchase a new one or if I receive it as a gift, my spirits shoot up to the high heavens! This Christmas, I am thankful to my manito/friend/neighbor Julius for giving me the book - The Time Traveller's Wife. I wasn't really expecting to get hold of this. It is quite pricey and the minimum budget of our kris kringle was 200 pesos. But my manito is richey! So what is a little over 200 pesos in excess of the minimum?! I actually had 3 choices in my wishlist - Body Shop GC, TTTW,or USB storage device. I don't know why he decided TTTW. But I am glad he did! Thanks again Juls!:)

I brought the book with me on my Cebu vacation. I was really early at the airport so the book was such a good companion while waiting for my flight. I've read 1/16 of the book and I can say it is indeed a good one. I like the way that the story is told in alternating first-person perspective of the two main characters - Clare and Henry. The author's way of writing is so descriptive, so full of emotions. You could really feel the intensity of love, frustration, heartache, and longing. Read below a brief description of the book from Wikipedia. (Btw, there's a film version of the book. I am dying to watch it. Still looking for where I can find it - pirated copy from the net or DVD/VCD).

The Time Traveler's Wife, published in 2003, is the debut novel of American author Audrey Niffenegger. It is a love story about a man with a genetic disorder that causes him to time travel unpredictably, and about his wife, an artist, who has to cope with his frequent absences and dangerous experiences. Niffenegger, frustrated in love when she began the work, wrote the story as a metaphor for her failed relationships. The tale's central relationship came to her suddenly and subsequently supplied the novel's title. The novel, which has been classified as both science fiction and romance, examines issues of love, loss, and free will. In particular, it uses time travel to explore miscommunication and distance in relationships, while also investigating deeper existential questions.

As a first-time novelist, Niffenegger had trouble finding a literary agent. She eventually sent the novel to MacAdam/Cage unsolicited and, after an auction took place for the rights, Niffenegger selected them as her publisher. The book became a bestseller after an endorsement from author and family friend Scott Turow on The Today Show, and as of March 2009 had sold nearly 2.5 million copies in the United States and the United Kingdom. Many reviewers were impressed with Niffenegger's unique perspective on time travel. Some praised her characterization of the couple, applauding their emotional depth; others criticized her writing style as melodramatic and the plot as emotionally trite. The novel won the Exclusive Books Boeke Prize and a British Book Award.

Can't wait to finish reading TTTW.

I leave you with this quote: "Why is love intensified by absence?" Clare.

Romance Revisited

One of the nicest, bestest gifts I got this Christmas is the 'Romance Revisited The Love Songs of Jose Mari Chan' CD of Christian Bautista. Last time, I posted that I saw Christian in person. So it is such a wonderful thing to receive his latest album as a gift. I have listened to it so many times and I am just in awe of Christian's voice and the romantic tone of it. There is truly no other singer who can rightfully sing Jose Mari Chan's songs but Christian Bautista.


Thanks a lot to my roommie Helena for giving me that CD! Luv u dai Lena! May you be blessed immensely this 2010. I know what you're wishing and hoping for. May God bless your heart and dreams!

why

why do i still have questions i wanna ask? why do i still want to spend a few moments with you alone? why does it pain me that you have kept your distance when that was what i had asked? why am i missing you? WHY??!!!!

WHY (Avril Lavigne)

Why, do you always do this to me
Why, couldn't you just see it through me
How come, you act like this
Like you just don't care at all
Do you expect me to believe
I was the only one to fall

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even though you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
Do you think we could last forever
Tell me
Why


Hey
Listen to what we're not saying
Let's play
A different game then what we're playin'
Try
To look at me and really see my heart
Do you expect me to believe, I'm gonna let us fall apart

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even when you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
You think we could last forever
Tell me
Why

so go and think about
whatever you need to think about
Go on dream about
Whatever you need to dream about
Then come back to me
When you know just how you feel, you feel

I can feel I can feel you near me
Even though you're far away
I can feel I can feel you baby
Why

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you I need you I need you
Tell me

Are you and me still together
Tell me
You think we could last forever
Tell me
Why

You made my day!

Absurd, jologs, baduy as it sounds but I don't care! And I don't mind telling people that I met,aahhh, not really the right word, better yet say, I saw HIM, in warm flesh and blood! My eyes couldn't believe it! I saw him. So close. Today. Where? Well, my ex-teammate invited me and some friends for some pizza and soda at S&R to celebrate his bday last week. What such a lucky day! What such a lucky fan! Almost on our last bite, Arse's current teammate mentioned that there's an 'artista' near the exit door. We all turned our heads, and lo and behold, there he is, my dream guy-tedengggg! --- Christian Bautista. The excitement and all that comes with seeing your idol, your dream guy, your whatever, I had it that moment. The downside of that day was that none of us was bringing a celfone. Well Arse had a cellfone but his was lowbatt and he thinks it was a bit jologs. So we weren't able to take a pic. No photo memoir. How sad =( Nevertheless, the important thing is I saw him. And got a lil closer. And I walked back to the office giddy and happy. He just made my day. =)

CAN'T FIGHT THIS FEELING (Reo Speedwagon)

I can't fight this feeling any longer.
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow.
What started out as friendship,
Has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold OUT forever.
I said there is no reason for my fear.
Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction,
You make everything so clear.

And even as I WANDER,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the window,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever THOUGHT I MIGHT.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you.
I've been running round in circles in my mind.
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl,
Cause you take me to the places,
That alone I'd never find.

And even as I wander,
I'm keeping you in sight.
You're a candle in the wind,
On a cold, dark winter's night.
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might.

And I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
It's time to bring this ship into the shore,
And throw away the oars, forever.

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fighting for.
And if I have to crawl upon the floor,
Come crashing through your door,
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

My Childhood Dreams

I am currently reading Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture. And the book in so many instances talks about achieving your childhood dreams. So it got me thinking and asking myself if I have actually achieved my childhood dreams.So here a took stock of my chilhood dreams...

1 - I wanted to learn ballet. I so remember when I was a child how I loved doing pirouettes (in a child's way), and swinging my arms around the air just like a ballerina. Back then, Lisa Macuja was an icon. In fact, when she did a show at the cultural center in my school, I was able to ask for her autograph. I and a couple of classmates sneaked at their rehearsal. I felt so much honored to have met her. Ironically, I haven't seen any of her shows.

2 - I wanted to study painting/drawing. Kids were usually enrolled in just about any kind of classes during summer. My parents had me took piano, keyboard and swimming lessons back then. But they were never able to enroll me in painting/drawing lessons. I recall that there was one time I asked my mom that I really wanted to learn painting/drawing. Not sure why it didn't happen. Maybe because it was a bit expensive or maybe because they saw I didn't need it much since I had an inherent talent. Well, I was really good in drawing then. I won a poster making contest, joined a painting contest (but lost), always asked by friends to draw their paper dolls, etc. I really wanted to develop this talent...But I guess it just never happened. I think I have lost my creativity and I swear I want to bring this back. I still am itching to study painting.

3 - I wanted to own a library. I wanted to own a gazillion of books. This has largely been influenced by my father and my aunt. My first storybooks were given to me by my aunt. These books were Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, and The Ugly Duckling. I truly treasured these books. Sad to say I don't know where they are now. My aunt also introduced me to detective novels Nancy Drew, Bobsey Twins, and Hardy Boys. When I was 10, I started borrowing these books from the school library. And yes I was able to own a Nancy Drew book.
My father's influence came from the fact that he had quite a collection of books at home. These were mostly religous books. I never really read them (though I was able to use a few of them as references in school work). I just so loved flipping through their pages. And I was happy with the idea of being surrounded by his books. He also had a bunch of Reader's Digest which he used to subscribed when he was single. I read some of them and yeah I could say RD's articles and stories years ago were more interesting (and many). Over the years, and as I grew up, he continued to buy me books but stopped when I was able to afford them. My affection for books hasn't changed. I may now have my own "collection" of books. But still they aren't enough to call a "library".

And so they are just three. Just three childhood dreams. These are all I could remember and all these I have not achieved fully. Studying ballet will never ever be fulfilled. It's too impossible to learn this at my age. I'll get broken bones and frustration. In replacement, I can watch a Lisa Macuja performance. How about studying painting/drawing? This is never too late. I still can do this. I've seen a school not far from where I live. I can try to inquire. Surely, this will be a to-do thing for me next year. What about owning a library? Well, I am doing this now bit by bit, little by little. I have my books, and there are more to come. To where and how they should be arranged still remains a vision. But I know it is going on its way to that.

By writing these childhood dreams of mine, I feel excited and rejuvenated. It reminds me of my "happiness" as a child. It takes out stress and work burdens.

Since these dreams are still a work in progress, I have vowed that they shall be fulfilled no matter what. Tomorrow I'm going to call that art school. =)

TRY (OST - Fame, sung by Asher Book)

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
If i ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am i catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me

It's the Little Imperfections That Make One Perfect...

What is A Valid Reason To Love?

What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? This was a question Bella asked Jacob at one point in the book New Moon of the Twilight Saga. And it got me thinking too, is there really a reason for you to love someone? Is there such a thing as a love that is wrong? Is loving someone ever wrong? Someone asked me that some time ago. And I couldn't help but agree. But then again what if this someone you love is in some situation that makes it wrong? What if he is committed? What if he's married? But how can you stop the feelings at all? The more you hesitate, the more it grows stronger. For a while I thought about it real hard. I isolated myself at some time, reflected on the questions, seeking answers. And then I came to a realization - the feelings stay, the love stays, but you can make everything right by physically distancing yourself from the person. Physical distance means literally being away from him/her. Avoiding communication as much as possible. I think over time the "strong feelings" will go away. To forget the person may never happen but to forget the feelings will happen. This is when I can say that TIME is the solution. And when both of you know the gravity of the situation and when both of you acknowledge the complexity of it all, everything works out.

To my friend - I know I've hurt you in one way or another by words I said or the deeds I did. I was just confused, troubled and wanted everything to be right. I also want you to know how special you are to me. That probably won't change.
I know you know how I feel, what I think about the situation and everything else. And I ask just a little respect and understanding. I also assure you that I now understand your feelings and what it's like in your case. Know that I respect you too. And I have been praying constantly. God knows best.
My friend, we can make this right.

Life Management

I attended a two-day course entitled Time Management. You know I've read lots of time management techniques over the years. But I didn't expect this course was going to be any of them. Well yes there were perennial principles presented like prioritization - what's urgent and important. But then the speakers or trainors had something more. The real meat of the course was life management. The part that I really liked best was that when we were asked to map out our life. Our goals, dreams, all those things we want to happen in our life would be mapped out over our remaining years on earth (supposedly). So if I expected to live until 80, I have 52 more years. And over these 52 years, I would allocate years to each of the four seasons of life which are spring, summer, fall, and winter. In each of these seasons, I would have to put in what I want to happen on these 3 aspects - personal, relational and professional. It's amazing how my life map turned out. And it feels fulfilling to be writing them down despite not yet achieving any of them. I feel so empowered. And it makes me want to work at them right now. I've really been thinking hard how I can achieve them. If God wills them so, let them be. If not, then I know God knows what's best for me. The important thing is I know what I want. And my life has a purpose. That is what life management is about - knowing your purpose and living your life in its accordance.

char kaayo nga mga quotes and poems

Sonnet 17 of Pablo Neruda’s 100 Love Sonnets

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms,
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

***********************

I don't regret the things I have done or the things I have chosen not to do because what ever I've done, I must have done something right because I ended up with you.

***********************
from Brida by Paulo Coelho

"People give flowers as presents because flowers contain the true meaning of Love. Anyone who tries to possess a flower will have to watch its beauty fading. But if you simply look at a flower in a field, you will keep it forever, because the flower is part of the evening and the sunset and the smell of damp earth and the clouds on the horizon."

"That is what the forest taught me. That you will never be mine, and that is why I will never lose you. You were my hope during my days of loneliness, my anxiety during moments of doubt, my certainty during moments of faith. Knowing my soulmate would come one day, I devoted myself to learning the Tradition of the Sun. Knowing that you existed was my one reason for continuing to live."

"I will always remember now that love is liberty."

**********************

E. B. WHITE: Charlotte, "Charlotte's Web"

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.

HaUzMaTeS

Housemates...

When I decided to accept the offer for work in Manila, I knew that I wasn't going to be living on space of my own. I can't afford that, you know. I can't afford a 10k rented condo unit, or even a 6k rented space. Well, probably I could if I am not sending money back home. So I was prepared to live with other people. It should be a first in my life. This is the first time I have lived away from home.

In my one year stay here in Manila, I have moved twice, or I have lived in 3 different houses. First, I stayed on a condo on a share-a-condo set up. According to a friend, it means you're just a glorified bedspacer. I paid 2.7k for a bed space, in a 4 bedroom condo unit along Pasong Tamo. Yes, the place was good, conveniently situated - McDonald's, Chowking, KFC, and Shopwise were just a short walk away (you can go there in you PJs). What I find rather inconvenient was that in our room, there were five of us! And in that unit, there were 10 occupants sharing the kitchen, the dining-cum-reception, and laundry areas. So it was literally a "full house". Even in our room, we couldn't get all our clothes out of our luggages simply because there was no space. If all of us changed clothes together, we'd be bumping to each other. But of course, it wasn't at all that bad. It was fun, in a way. I had interesting roommates. We'd watch VCDs/DVDs on weekends, or chika to the max. Thus, it was a bit sad when I left after 3 months.

I moved to Taguig, where some of my Bisdak colleagues are staying. It was really okay. The place was well kept, quiet surroundings, good water supply. Although, our unit was a bit small but it was ok since there were only 4 of us. There were two rooms - a friend and her hubby occupied one. I and a new found friend occupied the other one. We loved it there at first. But later on, it didn't prove to be worthwhile at all. First, the owner was an AH. (Sorry for the word, but a lot of people would agree.) She was just too much strict. Too much "businessy". If it hadn't been for the one year contract we signed, we could have left that place after 3 months.

But what I really cherished on staying there was that I had friends. There were about 8 of us Bisdaks. And come Fridays and weekends, we'd gather for an all-nighter (or all morning?) of DVD, card games, mahjong, etc. It was fun and stress relieving.

When our Bisdak friends' contract expired, they had decided to move out. They couldn't take another year of dealing with the owner. Since my roomie went back to Cebu, I had decided to join them. They would become now my third set of housemates.

Now, I am staying in an apartment in Palanan, Makati with 4 friends - all Bisdak and working in the same company as me. There are 3 males and 2 females in this house. Allow me to introduce them. Let's start by age, the oldest first. His name is Roliver. He's 30 something. I don't know his age exactly. But I know he's "lapas na sa kalendaryo". He's married with 2 kids, and 1 on the way. He's more of like the father figure in the house being the oldest. But don't judge him as the most serious one. He's not. He jokes a lot, and is so game to watch one movie even on a weekday. Even if it lastas till 2am.

Next to Roliver in age is Ferdi or Ferdz. Well, he's the rather serious type. He's married too with a daughter or son? or just a daughter? I don't know really. I actually forgot. He wakes up the earliest. By 7am or 730am, he's out of the house. I don't know exactly what the reasons are although one is for the parking space. When it comes to watching movies, he's so attentive to what the characters say. You bet, he remembers their dialogues by heart.

Then there is Rossini. He's single and I don't know or care if his status is single. We're about the same age. He's a CPA as well. The Bisdak group pairs him off with Evir, a dear friend. Although we tease them, there hasn't been a confirmed relationship between them. We heard lately he's seeing someone else. But the more important thing is he's a great "asset" in the house. Because. He owns the "entertainment showcase" - a flat and wide screen TV with the superb sound system. How will our DVD marathons go without them??? Jecel and I pray hard he doesn't move out or get accepted in another job far from Makati. We'll lose the only other thing that keeps us sane on Friday nights and weekends. *wink*

The youngest in our "household" is Jecel. She's in her mid-twenties. Not only is she the youngest in age, she's also the "smallest" physically. But despite her petite figure, you can never underestimate her. She's a good cook (our certified cook in the house), a witty woman, and so fun to be with. She's my roomie. And I'm glad she's single too (and even unattached) and loves to travel and have fun and adventure. She's now my new partner in crime.

Then there's me. I cook but not in the full essence of the word. So my contribution in the house is on dish washing, and cleaning. I don't mind cleaning the toilet.

We love the place despite the ocassional appearances of roaches and the inconsistent water flow. Why? We're a happy bunch. So far, in our almost 2 months stay, we have managed ourselves pretty well. And the best thing too is our landlady who is all good and all loving. She is the exact opposite of our former landlady. We love her. She's our dear lola in Manila.

I do hope that I'll stay in this place longer. And I will keep the same housemates. But then I don't hold their fate. One will decide to go back to Cebu or work abroad. Or maybe move to his/her own space. So I can only hope for the best for each one of us - as housemates or not.

maligayang bagong taon

Get One At - Friendster Comments

the one that got away…

I accidentally found this article from a friend's friend's friend's link in her friendster account. :) But I really like the article. It's something I can relate to, especially recently when I have been thinking about the one that got away... so here's the blog post (http://thedreamlife.blog.friendster.com/2008/11/the-one-that-got-away/):

i got this through email and i thought it was so true…read on….

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

***My note: Unfortunately for me, the one that got away is getting married soon. It is sad that it's hard to find someone like him. But I'm happy now that he is happy. Memories of him (no matter how vague our situation then was) will certainly bring a little smile on my face. To him that got away, I wish you the best on this new endeavor. Married life is not at all smooth sailing. You know that. I know when you decide on something, marriage in this case, you'll stand up for it. You are a righteous man, responsible and God-fearing. You'll be a great father and husband. Believe in that coz I believe too.***

Velociraptor (with KJP's suggestion)

I could survive for 32 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

One Year

I'd like reflect the one year I have been with my present job, a year away from my family, a year of living on my own, a year of living in a big city. I came to Manila a year ago, November 3, 2007 with excitement, anxiety and fully of energy - with a better paying job, independent living, big city life. Now I look back what the year has brought me, or what I have brought to the year as well. Indeed, the year was a good one. The company sent me to London for a five week training. What more can I ask for! All my life I had been praying to be able to see the other side of the world - the Western side. The 5 week stay in London enriched me. It opened my eyes to another culture. It made me appreciate their culture as well as it made me appreciate more my own culture, heritage, and of who I am and where I came from. It made me feel blessed and grateful for what I have - my family, my friends, my faith, my God.

My family - The sad side, Mama's feet got worse. She could no longer stand up and walk very well. It had something to do with the nerves. Arthritis, she said. I know that depressed her in ways. I continue to pray that she can walk well again. I still hold that dream that one day I can bring her and my father to travels abroad. Apart from that, little quarrels and fits of anger flared up in the family on certain times. But they all got resolved. And that's part of the happy side. Add to that, Mama and Papa had the chance to visit me in Manila when I got back from London. They took time to see relatives and got to taste a bit of the busy and chaotic Manila life. My sisters too were able to visit me. I took them to Enchanted Kingdom. It was a short 3-day visit but a worthy one.

Friends - Indeed,I have made good friends, and even best friends, the kind that'll stick with you no matter what, and support your decisions. They make you laugh and make you cry, and most importantly teach you lessons you can never learn on your own. One of the very special friends I have was my roomie. We had lots of little fights yet we always made up. She made me realized a lot of things. And though we're no longer roomies now, it was having her as a roomie and a friend that I consider one of the best things that happened this year.

My God, my faith - I am sorry to say that my relationship with the Lord waned a bit this year. I missed Sunday masses. I spent little time with Him. I know it was all my fault (who else is to blame). But the good thing is, I never gave up on Him and He never gave up on me. With all the temptations around me, He just wouldn't let me get near them. I am thankful. I am blessed.

The past year was full of colors. It wasn't all bad. It wasn't all good. It had balance. But all in all, it was a precious year, one that shall make a mark in my life story. So many bunch of lessons learned, so many relationships enriched. I can end this year with a smile. And look forward to next year with much hope, anticipation and faith.

The Call by Regina Spektor (to the cancer kid-patients at Phil Children's Hospital)

You are all brave. :)

See you soon, Friend (yayi's message to Bisdaks)

GOD’S PERFECT TIME

“There is an appointed time for everything.”– Ecclesiastes 3:1

He wanted to buy a car. But he could only afford a second-hand. On his first attempt to search for a used vehicle, he received news from a friend. “Have you heard that the car of one of the residents living a few blocks from your home was stolen?”
“Is the Lord telling me something?” he wondered. So he postponed his search. After sometime, he looked again for a car. Just then, he heard that another vehicle was stolen near his area.
After a few months, he resumed his search. And for the third time, another vehicle was stolen … and it was his neighbor’s.
He gave up the idea of buying a car. Instead, he decided to wait for the Lord’s signal.
One day, he dropped by the office of a colleague. He was handed an envelope. It was his Christmas and birthday gift rolled into one. When he opened it, it was a check, the amount of which is good enough for a down payment for a brand new car.
It pays well to wait on the Lord. God’s timing is always perfect. We just need to be patient and trust His heart. byJudith Concepcion
from Didache 9/26/08

REFLECTION:
God is neither too late nor too early. He makes all things beautiful in His time.

I choose to wait on You Lord no matter how long it takes for I know You have prepared only the best for me.

*****
These are the words I exactly need these days. It's amusing that for this week, I chance upon this on my yahoomail twice. Seems like the Lord is telling me over and over again to wait for the perfect time. I've been praying for a lot of things to happen in my life. And the Lord's answer is - Wait, my precious child. In my time, everything shall be done.
*****

I'm not that girl

A fave song...
From the musical WICKED...
Watched the play in London at the Apollo Victoria Theater...
I am in love with this musical...
I really am!...






Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl.

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl...

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

movie marathon

I'm back in Cebu for a one week vacation.:) I'm happy to be with my family again, making chikas and seeing them everyday. I miss them so much! :)
While here though, I plan to watch lots of movies. Luckily, my brother has a lot of downloaded movies on his PC! And I don't think I could ever finish all of them!
So far, I've watched two - Atonement and Vantage Point. Though with Atonement, I wasn't able to concentrate very well and I kept forwarding it. The audio was bad.:( Anyway, I plan to read the book. I think the drama will be much more stronger in the novel than in the movie. Vantage Point has so much adrenaline rush in it. I like the way it was done. Now I know why the title is Vantage Point. :) Movies on my list:
1- Music and Lyrics
2- Love in the Time of Cholera
3- Sex in the City
4- Indefinitely Maybe
5- No Country for Old Men
6- There Will Be Blood
7- Harry Potter (all series)

Good luck to me! Wish I can watch them all and more!

Happy vacation to me!

May 10-June 14 2008

These are the inclusive dates of the London trip. I spent some 5 weeks there. And I tototally enjoyed it. And I wanna go back. Because there were just so many things to see and so much to do but so little time. If given the chance to back to UK, I'll do the following things:
1 - go to Scotland and visit my friend Eva and her family
2 - visit my cousin's family in Sheffield
3 - go to Oxford
4 - take a pic at the 9 3/4 platform
5 - get inside the Tower of London and see the crown jewels
6 - shopping in Ashford
7 - watch Les Miserables and other plays/shows in West End

While I was there in London, these were the only tourist places I've been to or activities I did:

1 - Buckingham Palace for the changing of the guards, St.James' Park
2 - River Thames cruise
3 - London Eye, Big Ben, Houses of Parliament, Tower Bridge
4 - Madamme Tussauds
5 - Portobello
6 - shopping and window shopping in Oxford street, Kensington High Street
7 - Kensington Palace and Gardens, Harrods for Princess Di's monument
8 - Greenwhich
9 - Hampton Court Palace (my favorite!!!!)
10 - Sheffield
11 - Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, City of Bath
12 - drinking beer (w/o ice)
13 - wearing no jacket at 14 degrees Celsius (it was sooo cold)
14 - watched Wicked (I so love this musical!!!)

I think I've mentioned them mostly... I think I haven't missed the important ones and my favorites...

London Here I Come

I'm writing this blog entry at the Dubai International Airport awaiting for our connecting flight to London. :) I'm happy for 3 reasons. One - there's wireless internet connection and I can log in to the restricted sites in the office i.e. yahoomail, blogger, gmail. Thus I can write about this UK trip. Two - it's my first trip outside of Southeast Asia, my first trip to UK, my first trip to Europe. And I am not paying for the airfare and accomodation! This is because I'm on a business trip. I'm with two other officemates. We'll be in London for a series of trainings and meetings. (And on the side, sightseeing and shopping). Three - the flight was easy, not much pain on the ears, good food, nice attendants, watched Juno and for some reason I forgot the other movie. (We're on business class!) In less than an hour, we'll be flying to London. Here I come. ;)

24/27

Today is March 24, 2008. It's my birthday!!!! And I'm now 27 y.o. I can't believe it I'm nearing 30. wahahaha... It's kinda weird to say that I'm 27. I feel old. It also feels odd especially when I'm still single, unattached and my friends and contemporaries are already starting their own families, getting married, having kids. Well anyway that's life and that's just how it is.

Today my little sisters (actually not little anymore) surprised me at around 3am when I was so sound asleep, they sang 'happy birthday' carrying a little doughnut with a candle. How sweet. I'm touched. I love surprises. :)

I got a few text messages today from friends and officemates. I don't know yet what else is coming. :) But usually they are just text messages and email greetings.

Happy birthday to me!

i'm in town

i'm here in cebu for a short vacation(?), that means a little over 3 days. well, i miss my family and friends here. yah, i do. and they miss me too! i'm spending my bday here. i don't know how it will be. but surely it won't be anything fancy. i'd like it to be simple, less gastos. i'm on a tight budget as the US economy is in a recession. huh? is there some connection? well, i've heard and read news of the economic conditions of the US and they're not good and wala lang, i felt that could be a good reason.. ;-). I wonder if my friends working there feel the hard times...hmmm...

anyway, while i'm here in cebu, i don't want to burden myself thinking about work, problems (mine or the world's). 3-days in cebu is a respite from my busy life in manila. besides it's holy week, time to reflect on this life and my JC's life.

My Family's New Year's Message for me

Dear Mae,

We hope you will be sucessful in all your endeavors in life in this new year 2008. We love you so much and please take care. GOD BLESS YOU AND MAMA MARY LOVES YOU.

From Papa, Mama, John, Christine and Charm


==================================================================================

It can get lonely here in the Big City but when I realize that my family is praying for me, I get the feeling that I am okay and everything will be okay. :)

home for christmas

it's been a month since my last entry. if it hadn't been for KJP's comment asking about my whereabouts, i wouldn't dare write anything on my blog... hehehe... we'll it's just too difficult to get into the net especially blogger since i came to Manila. at work, lots of sites are restricted. obviously, they have to do that. you're not there to blog, and do personal browsing. you're paid to work! i don't have my own PC, and also (of course) i don't have internet connection. when i moved to manila, i left a lot of my comforts in cebu. in order to get access to my blogs, yahoomail, hotmail, etc., i have to go to an internet cafe. well, sometimes i'm too tired to go to one. lately, i've been going home late from the office. so that explains my absence on the net.

while i'm writing this blog entry, i'm in cebu. i'm home for christmas. yipee! i get to go online as often as i want! i'm here with my family. :) i just miss them. i miss my friends and i miss cebu, as well. it's different in manila. its traffic is super heavy. time flies so fast. people are so busy. food is very expensive. and living alone means doing my own laundry, and cooking. no mom and lola to prepare my breakfast and dinner. i miss homecooked food! so i'm making the most of my stay here. so i'm eating lots and lots of my lola and mom's cooking! (and when i get back to manila, i'm bloated! hahaha...)

I'm enjoying my xmas vacation (which will end tomorrow, Philippine time). I hope you all are having fun-filled and blessed holidays! Merry Christmas!

1st week...

I'm officially now in Manila, Makati specifically...I got here on November 3, started work on November 5. :) Right now, my mind ain't working well. so i won't write much...actually i'm so sleepy.... it's still 6:46pm. and im sooo sleepy already. i'm still adjusting, to a lot of things, too many to mention but next time, i'll blog about it. byeee...

phew!!!

Phew! is all I can say after a very hectic weekend up to today Oct 31st. For 3 days, from Oct 27-29, I went on a trip to Bohol with my twin friends Elma and Erma. Erma just got from Dubai and she sent her whole family to a vacation in Bohol. The twins dragged me along (they wanted some girlfriends to join). Another friend of theirs, Sherrie also joined. It was my third time to visit the island of Bohol, home to the smallest monkey in the world, the tarsier. I was again able to see it again for the second time. I was able to visit the Chocolate Hills for the second time. The first time I was in Bohol was when I was just 12 years old. At that time I was with my mom and brother. We were there to attend a grand family reunion. During that visit, we were able to go to Chocolate Hills but we didn't get to see the tarsier. My second visit was with my first job. I was observing an inventory of a client. Since I was able to stay over the weekend, I took the chance to see the tarsiers in Loboc on a Sunday off.

The weekend trip to Bohol was fun. All the pictures we have taken surely would say it was so much FUN. I especially loved our photo shoot in our hotel room during one evening before we went off to sleep. Looking at those pictures surely sent me laughing out loud! LOL! hahaha... I also love the pictorial in chocolate hills where we were jumping! super lingaw! :) Thanks to Erma and Elma. They really made my weekend. :) Sila kasi ang gumastos! :)

We got back to Cebu on Monday, baranggay elections day. Of course, I voted. It was also a very hot day too. But the elections wasn't so hot. I guess our baranggay politics aren't that chaotic and dirty. :) On that day, too, I went to the salon to get a haircut. I wanted to put some bangs, something to cover up my wide forehead. But the gay hairdresser was so BOGO! super duper doesn't really know his job. Graveh, he made a mess of my hair!!!! I hated him. But I couldn't really tell that to him up close and personal. Ugh!!! I hate myself why I'm soooo mabait, soooo kind. I even gave him a tip! I'm so stupid! ewan ko bah, ba't ako ganito. argghhhh!

On Tuesday, I went to the dentist to for some check up and stuffs. With my sooo bothersome first molar, I decided to have it extracted. And so here goes my first tooth extraction done by a dentist! Whoa! I was terrified. Really. I felt like a child feeling very nervous about getting a tooth extraction. So bye bye toothaches. The dentist also filled up two teeth which were getting dark spots and holes, lest they become bigger and become another painful toothache. On that same day too, in the afternoon, my grandma and I went for a confession. Afterwhich, we attended mass. And...I bought a Bible! I also had it blessed that same day. :)

Wednesday. What a day! I woke up early so I could give to Mira the pasalubong from my Bohol trip, then I went to Basilica del Sto. Niño and Cebu Metropolitan Cathedral. I offered candles and prayers for a safe trip to Manila (on Nov 3).
After the church visits, I went to PAL Jones to have my airline ticket printed. I waited for an hour for that. I then went to Ayala to claim the partial relocation allowance, had lunch, went around, bought a few stuffs then headed to SM to meet my sister. We bought some clothes, and other stuffs for me and for her also. Lots of people at SM. Sale kasi eh! I was able to get some 10% discounts on the stuffs I bought. Good deal! Kaya lang I realize now that things have gotten really expensive. My P4k disappeared so fast... parang di masyado marami ang nabibili sa P4k. tsk. tsk. My other sister joined us later. After getting our legs tired in SM, we went to Ayala to buy some groceries. I also had to buy pasalubongs for our relatives there. :) So ngayon, ubos na pera ko!!!! Hay naku!!!! Graveh!!! I can't believe I spent all my last pay to the last penny. This should make me sad. :( Well, it is making me sad. :( But that's how life is. Ang dami ko kasing UTANG! DEBT! Grrrr! Double GRRRR!!! Ayoko na sa credit card!!! PHEW!

Galit ba? eh okay lang talaga, kelangan kong mgbayad sa utang at sana, at dapat di na ako gagamit ng credit card next time!!!! PROMISE!

Famous lines (in Tagalog)

"pinapaikot mo lang ako

Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang

patayin mlo na lang ako"

-electric fan


"hindi lahat ng walang salawal

ay bastos"

-winnie d' pooh


"Alam mo ba wala akong ibang hinangad

kundi ang mapalapit saio.

pero patuloy ang pag-iwas mo"

-ipis


"Hala! sige magpakasasa ka!

Alam ko namang katawan ko lang ang habol mo."

-hipon


"Ayoko na! pag nagmamahal ako lagi na lang

maraming tao ang nagagalit! wala ba akong

karapatang magmahal?!?"

-gasolina


"Hindi lahat ng green ay masustansya."

-plema


"Hindi ko hinahangad na ipagmalaki mo na ako'y sau

ayoko ko lang naman na sa harap ng maraming tao

ganun mo na lang ako itanggi.."

-utot


"Sawang sawa na ako palagi nalang akong

pinagpapasa- pasahan, pagod na pagod na ako."

-Bola


"you never know what you have

till you lose it.

and once you lose it, you can never get it back"

-snatcher


"Ginawa ko naman lahat para sumaya ka

mahirap ba talagang makontento sa isa?

bakit palipat-lipat ka?

-TV


"hindi lahat ng maasim may vitamin c"

-kili kili


Sige, batihin mo ako.... Sigeee.....BATEEEEE E!!!!!!!!

-omelette


pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at
babalik ako!

-libag


"wag mo na akong bilugin.."

-kulangot


Paano tayo makakabuo kung hindi ako papatong sa iyo?

-Lego

farewell

Yesterday, October 19th, was my last day of work at NSP, my second employer, my Japanese employer. I didn't exactly feel sad or happy. There was bit of both. I was sad because I had to leave the friends I've made at work. I spent almost 3 years working in NSP. And I've had times of fun in those years. I will certainly miss Mira, Chai, Jing, and Mam Baby -- my teammates in Finance. I'll miss the laughters, the chikas, the food, the reklamos (of management and everyone else...hehehe). I'll miss jeepney rides on the way home with Mira and Chai. I'll miss Jing's daily supply of Julie's bread. I will miss Mam Baby's chika of her life. And her famous line, "How far na mo?" (peace, Mam Babes! (",))I will miss the HR people - Ana, Marlene, Edwin, Belle, Tonton, Dina, Rose, Mam Gina. Of course, I'm not so close to all of them but certainly they have made my life in NSP interesting. I will miss corresponding with Ana for her invoices, Tonton for his endless CAs, Dina for payroll stuff, Marlene (a.k.a Mam Nurse) for OPB concerns, Edwin for his occasional treats and his twice-a-month request for dinner and taxi allowances. I will certainly miss our lolo in Finance, Mr. Okano. He maybe disorganized and clumsy with his schedules but he has never berated us for our little mistakes. He's not strict and he knows how to have fun too (not to mention that he pays for some of our sosyal dine-outs, and he paid too the K1 experience last Friday night).
It's a bit sad to leave the people who you have come to love. It's a bit sad to leave my Finance ka-berks knowing that they will be given additional load of tasks until they find a replacement for me. It's a bit sad to know that Mam Baby and Mr. Okano would have to deal with finding a suitable replacement (all the interviews, selection, trainings that come with it).
On the other side, I am happy that with my resignation I was able to realize how blessed I am to have worked in NSP. I am happy that my officemates have supported my decision to take a new leap in my career. I am happy that all these people I've met in NSP came into my life. I have learned a lot from their own experiences, and from their own views of life.
I am resigning for the following reasons: I have felt no more growth in my stay with NSP. I have felt boredom in my work. I have felt it's time for me to move out of home and try living on my own. I have felt the need to learn to stand on my own two feet.
The last part is giving me nervous apprehensions. The latest news on the bombing in Glorietta 2 in Makati is making me feel uncomfortable. I will soon be working and living in Makati. Without a family to make me feel secure, I am a bit worried. And I pray, pray very hard God will keep me safe. He will protect me from all the dangers. I know my family and friends will be praying for me, too. This then keeps me feel secured.

Farewell my friends in NSP. Thank you for the stuff toy. I'll bring that with me in Manila. :) Thank you for the fun time in K1. Thanks to Okano-san for paying the bill. hehehe...

Good luck to all of us!

A Parable on True Love

Another one from my old e-mails... :)
forwarded by my friend Mira.


A PARABLE ON TRUE LOVE
>
> An old woman sat on the antique rattan rocking chair. Her eyeglasses
> were perched precariously on her nose as she concentrated on her
> sewing chores.
> A gentle breeze swept the wisp of whitish hair on her temples.
>
> Beside her sat her teen-age granddaughter. She was like a fresh
flower recently bloomed. Without warning she suddenly blurted out. Grandma,
> why is true love so difficult to find?
>
> The old woman with a kindly face stopped sewing and touched her
> granddaughters head affectionately. After a moment, the young girl
> cuddled closer resting her head on the old womans lap.
>
> Listen and I will tell you why. began the grandmother.
>
> Many centuries ago, when the world was young, true love existed
> everywhere. It was available for asking. Because of this, men and
> women took true love for granted, so God decided to keep true love.
> She stopped and smiled as she gently stroke the young girls soft
> tresses.
>
> God asked a pair of angels to keep true love.
> First, they buried true love in the ground. But man and woman easily
> dug it out. Next, the angels took true love to the highest mountains.
> But again man and woman easily climbed to the top. Then the angels
> submerged true love into the deepest sea.
> Man and woman swam to the bottom of the body of water and with ease
> retrieved true love.
>
> So true love is easy to find, commented the young girl. For man and
> woman will dig, climb and swim.
>
> Yes, but finally the angels kept true love in the hearts of man and
> woman. Since then people have had difficulty searching for true love.
> For they look everywhere except in the one place that they should
keep
> it --- the HEART.
>
>
> The most beautiful things in the world can neither be seen nor
> touched, just felt in the heart. Helen Keller
>

anticipantion, anxiety

It's the middle of October. On the 20th, it would be my last day at NSP. It seemed like I just handed my resignation letter. How fast time flies. (what a cliche! but it's actually very true) Tomorrow, it's my last day for my first semester in Masters. It's actually our final exams for Economics! I do hope I'm going to pass it. :) And on Wednesday, we'll be having dinner (the Finance team) and is in a way a despidida for me.

I'm having mixed feelings. I'm kinda excited about leaving and working in Manila, meeting new friends, experiencing a new kind of work, new environment. Then I'm kinda anxious about leaving home, leaving the comfortable life I live in Cebu. How's it going to be when I'm away from my family? What if something bad happens to me there?

Mixed feelings, mixed emotions. They're all part of making decisions. But then it's all part of growth. It's all part of this so-called life.

IF I KNEW

This is a poem shared to me by Chai. :)

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

some good thoughts...

Remember this:
"Do not ask for everything in life to follow the path of your will.
Pray that things happen as they need to happen - and you will see that everything is far better than you were expecting."

Epictetus

On Love

I found this in my office emails. I'm actually cleaning up my mails... :) This is good.


It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is mystery why some loves grow and it is mystery why some loves fail. You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes, but you will never do any more than take the life out of the experience.

Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions and commonalities that two people share. And just as life itself is a gift that comes and goes in its time, the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be questioned in its ways.

Too often, when love comes to people, they try to grasp the love and hold it
to them, refusing to see that it is a gift freely given and a gift that just
as freely moves away. When they fall out of love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving, they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather than accepting the gift for what it was.

They want answers where there are no answers. They want to know what is wrong with them, or they try to get their lover to change, thinking that if some small thing were different love would bloom again. They blame their circumstances. They blame each other. They try everything to give meaning to what has happened. But there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they accept its own mysterious ways they live in a sea of misery.

You need to treat what love brings you with kindness. If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you toward whom you feel no love, feel honored that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift that you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain. How you deal with love is how love will deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are very different.

If you fall in love with another who falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim or to assess blame. Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know it in time, but time itself will choose the moment.

Remember this and keep it in your heart. You don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person who brought it to you. Give it to others who seem poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

Love has its own time, its own season, and its own reasons for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or to coerce it or reason it into staying. If it chooses to leave, from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and nothing you should do. Be glad that it came to live a moment in your life. If you keep your heart open, it will surely come again.

- Kent Nerburn, Simple Truths

Quotes from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom

Tuesdays with Morrie is one of my fave books. I love the quotes by Morrie. :)


"The most important thing in life is to learn to how to give out love,
and to let it come in." " Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love,
we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine
said it right. He said " Love is the only rational act."


"Love wins. Love always wins."

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. ANd if you are ever going to have
other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're
falling.

You need someone to probe you in that direction. It won't just happen automatically.

We all need teachers in our lives.

"Tension of opposites"

If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the
vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is, You know what love is. you know what grief is. And only then can you say, "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment."

Still there are a few rules I know to be true about love and marriage. If you don't respect the other person, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you don't know how to compromise, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. If you can't talk openly about what goes on between you, you're gonna have a lot of trouble. Your values must be alike.

The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture.

As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still here. You live on - in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

relocating

I got accepted into a new job. And it's not gonna be in cebu, it's gonna be in manila! hehe... philippines lang naman... not far naman. just 45 min plane ride. but then, it's away from home. it's away from good friends and family. it'll be my first time to live on my own and that translates to washing clothes on my own, having no mom to prepare my breakfast, no lola to cook lunch and dinner. I'm going to be on my own. It's exciting yet scary... I've been to Manila a few times. And i've never really love it. I hate the traffic, I hate lots of people. I hate the pollution. I abhor, detest it! Back then, I vowed, "No way I am going to work in Manila!"
Eat my words! Soon, I'll be going to that city - live there, work there. But why the change of mind? well, i'm so so bored na with my work, with Cebu, with my love life status quo. kapoya man gud oi, wa jud tawn ko kakita og keke diri sa cebu...Why not move to Manila, where I have better choices of career, and men. hahaha! Well, i am 26. I'm not getting any younger! I also would want to live independently. For years, I have been very dependent on my parents. I just crave for the challenge to live on my own. I'd want too to bolster my career. I also need one with a higher pay. Paano na young college tuition fee ni Charm? The only way to do this is - get a job in Manila. Singapore sana, kaya lang, I am not that prepared yet to compete with Singaporean job seekers. Besides, I'd need to have enough money while I look for a job there. And I don't have any! So this job offer from Deutsche Knowledge Services seems to be a good fit. They have a relocation package. Wala kaayo gastos for my move to Manila. How fortunate of me!

I hope all things go well for me! By November, Manila girl na ako... :)

my old filipino name

My Pinoy Name is Christina Marie Little Bit Magbanua.
Take The Filipino Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Habit 1 - Be Proactive

Habit 1: Be Proactive

"I know of no more encouraging fact
than the unquestionable ability of man
to elevate his life by conscious endeavor."
-Henry David Thoreau

Proactivity defined
Proactivity is more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

Because we are, by nature, proactive, if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen those things to control us. In making such a choice, we become reactive. Reactive people are often affected by their physical and social environment. Proactive people form their own physical and social environments. The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person. Proactive people are still influenced by their external stimuli, but their response to the stimuli is a value based response.

Listening to our language:
Because our attitudes and behaviors flow out of our paradigms, if we use our self-awareness to examine them, we can often see in them the nature of our underlying maps. Our language, for example, is a very real indicator of the degree to which we see ourselves as proactive people. The language of reactive people absolves them of responsibility.

Reactive Language
There's nothing I can do.
That's just the way I am.
He makes me so mad.
I have to do that.
They won't allow that.
I can't.
I must.
If only.

Proactive Language
Let's look at other alternatives.
I can choose a different approach.
I control my own feelings.
I can create an effective presentation.
I will choose an appropriate response.
I choose.
I prefer.
I will.


That language [reactive] comes from a basic paradigm of determinism. And the whole spirit of it is the transfer of responsibility.



http://www.english.ilstu.edu/351/hypertext98/shachter/habitspages/habit1.html