My Childhood Dreams

I am currently reading Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture. And the book in so many instances talks about achieving your childhood dreams. So it got me thinking and asking myself if I have actually achieved my childhood dreams.So here a took stock of my chilhood dreams...

1 - I wanted to learn ballet. I so remember when I was a child how I loved doing pirouettes (in a child's way), and swinging my arms around the air just like a ballerina. Back then, Lisa Macuja was an icon. In fact, when she did a show at the cultural center in my school, I was able to ask for her autograph. I and a couple of classmates sneaked at their rehearsal. I felt so much honored to have met her. Ironically, I haven't seen any of her shows.

2 - I wanted to study painting/drawing. Kids were usually enrolled in just about any kind of classes during summer. My parents had me took piano, keyboard and swimming lessons back then. But they were never able to enroll me in painting/drawing lessons. I recall that there was one time I asked my mom that I really wanted to learn painting/drawing. Not sure why it didn't happen. Maybe because it was a bit expensive or maybe because they saw I didn't need it much since I had an inherent talent. Well, I was really good in drawing then. I won a poster making contest, joined a painting contest (but lost), always asked by friends to draw their paper dolls, etc. I really wanted to develop this talent...But I guess it just never happened. I think I have lost my creativity and I swear I want to bring this back. I still am itching to study painting.

3 - I wanted to own a library. I wanted to own a gazillion of books. This has largely been influenced by my father and my aunt. My first storybooks were given to me by my aunt. These books were Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, and The Ugly Duckling. I truly treasured these books. Sad to say I don't know where they are now. My aunt also introduced me to detective novels Nancy Drew, Bobsey Twins, and Hardy Boys. When I was 10, I started borrowing these books from the school library. And yes I was able to own a Nancy Drew book.
My father's influence came from the fact that he had quite a collection of books at home. These were mostly religous books. I never really read them (though I was able to use a few of them as references in school work). I just so loved flipping through their pages. And I was happy with the idea of being surrounded by his books. He also had a bunch of Reader's Digest which he used to subscribed when he was single. I read some of them and yeah I could say RD's articles and stories years ago were more interesting (and many). Over the years, and as I grew up, he continued to buy me books but stopped when I was able to afford them. My affection for books hasn't changed. I may now have my own "collection" of books. But still they aren't enough to call a "library".

And so they are just three. Just three childhood dreams. These are all I could remember and all these I have not achieved fully. Studying ballet will never ever be fulfilled. It's too impossible to learn this at my age. I'll get broken bones and frustration. In replacement, I can watch a Lisa Macuja performance. How about studying painting/drawing? This is never too late. I still can do this. I've seen a school not far from where I live. I can try to inquire. Surely, this will be a to-do thing for me next year. What about owning a library? Well, I am doing this now bit by bit, little by little. I have my books, and there are more to come. To where and how they should be arranged still remains a vision. But I know it is going on its way to that.

By writing these childhood dreams of mine, I feel excited and rejuvenated. It reminds me of my "happiness" as a child. It takes out stress and work burdens.

Since these dreams are still a work in progress, I have vowed that they shall be fulfilled no matter what. Tomorrow I'm going to call that art school. =)

TRY (OST - Fame, sung by Asher Book)

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me
If i ask you to stay would you show me the way
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me
The world is catching up to you
While your running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

If i sing you a song would you sing along
Or wait till i'm gone, oh how we push and pull
If i give you my heart would you just play the part
Or tell me it's the start of something beautiful
Am i catching up to you
While your running away, to chase your dreams
It's time for us to face the truth cause we are coming to each other to change
And maybe i'm not ready

Chorus
But i'm trying for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough

I will try for your love
I can hide up above

2x huh huhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh huh huhhh

If i walk would you run
If i stop would you come
If i say you're the one would you believe me