Friday, December 26, 2008

the one that got away…

I accidentally found this article from a friend's friend's friend's link in her friendster account. :) But I really like the article. It's something I can relate to, especially recently when I have been thinking about the one that got away... so here's the blog post (http://thedreamlife.blog.friendster.com/2008/11/the-one-that-got-away/):

i got this through email and i thought it was so true…read on….

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a “one that got away” means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be “the one that got away” as well for the person who is your “the one that got away.” You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

***My note: Unfortunately for me, the one that got away is getting married soon. It is sad that it's hard to find someone like him. But I'm happy now that he is happy. Memories of him (no matter how vague our situation then was) will certainly bring a little smile on my face. To him that got away, I wish you the best on this new endeavor. Married life is not at all smooth sailing. You know that. I know when you decide on something, marriage in this case, you'll stand up for it. You are a righteous man, responsible and God-fearing. You'll be a great father and husband. Believe in that coz I believe too.***

Saturday, December 20, 2008

One Year

I'd like reflect the one year I have been with my present job, a year away from my family, a year of living on my own, a year of living in a big city. I came to Manila a year ago, November 3, 2007 with excitement, anxiety and fully of energy - with a better paying job, independent living, big city life. Now I look back what the year has brought me, or what I have brought to the year as well. Indeed, the year was a good one. The company sent me to London for a five week training. What more can I ask for! All my life I had been praying to be able to see the other side of the world - the Western side. The 5 week stay in London enriched me. It opened my eyes to another culture. It made me appreciate their culture as well as it made me appreciate more my own culture, heritage, and of who I am and where I came from. It made me feel blessed and grateful for what I have - my family, my friends, my faith, my God.

My family - The sad side, Mama's feet got worse. She could no longer stand up and walk very well. It had something to do with the nerves. Arthritis, she said. I know that depressed her in ways. I continue to pray that she can walk well again. I still hold that dream that one day I can bring her and my father to travels abroad. Apart from that, little quarrels and fits of anger flared up in the family on certain times. But they all got resolved. And that's part of the happy side. Add to that, Mama and Papa had the chance to visit me in Manila when I got back from London. They took time to see relatives and got to taste a bit of the busy and chaotic Manila life. My sisters too were able to visit me. I took them to Enchanted Kingdom. It was a short 3-day visit but a worthy one.

Friends - Indeed,I have made good friends, and even best friends, the kind that'll stick with you no matter what, and support your decisions. They make you laugh and make you cry, and most importantly teach you lessons you can never learn on your own. One of the very special friends I have was my roomie. We had lots of little fights yet we always made up. She made me realized a lot of things. And though we're no longer roomies now, it was having her as a roomie and a friend that I consider one of the best things that happened this year.

My God, my faith - I am sorry to say that my relationship with the Lord waned a bit this year. I missed Sunday masses. I spent little time with Him. I know it was all my fault (who else is to blame). But the good thing is, I never gave up on Him and He never gave up on me. With all the temptations around me, He just wouldn't let me get near them. I am thankful. I am blessed.

The past year was full of colors. It wasn't all bad. It wasn't all good. It had balance. But all in all, it was a precious year, one that shall make a mark in my life story. So many bunch of lessons learned, so many relationships enriched. I can end this year with a smile. And look forward to next year with much hope, anticipation and faith.

2022: Surviving

Hello! I didn’t post anything in 2021. Ok, I got so busy with life.  I’m still here. I’m still alive.  I had another baby in 2021, a girl. A...