So how is our relationship going? It's going pretty well. We've had our share of arguments and disappointments.
I for a fact have discovered that in spite of the many things we have in common, we have a lot of differences too. And these differences have been our sources of arguments. Sometimes I would end up in tears, maybe frustrated. To be honest, there were times I doubted our relationship - if it is something for keeps and something we can make it last forever. I have listened to stories of people (and friends) of their misadventures in love, of getting hurt, of being devastated. All are horrible. But then, it made them better persons with stronger spirits. Still, I don't want our love story to end, no way! I love my guy deeply. And I have decided, I am letting him keep my heart forever, if he likes. :) I know he does! He always assures me of his love. Always.
This is my first ever serious relationship and here are three things I have learned so far about love and relationships:
1 - Love is more than just a feeling. It is INDEED a decision as well. It starts first with a feeling. But as time goes by, the feeling tends to fade away and it depends on how both of you do to make that feeling still fresh and new always.
My one suggestion on keeping the love burning is - you have to be together, you have to do things together. Physical togetherness IS important. We are on a not-so-distant relationship (on the same country, on different provinces) and we make it always a point to see each other at least once a month. Not through Skype! So we make it an effort that I visit him in his city or he comes and visit me in my city. The distance is an hour and a half plane ride. Not bad. Now for couples who live on two different continents, that's very hard. Well then there is Skype. Do Skype everyday!
The key here is you both make the decision to love each other and stay committed to your relationship.
2 - Love came your way because you two had many things in common. Most likely. In my case, yes. We were both timid people, quiet and a bit shy. We both love books and travel. But as the months went by, I realized how different we were too and these differences become sources of disagreements. And it's up to the couple how to patch things up. In our relationship, it is my guy who is good at patching things up, and making sure that these are sorted out as soon as possible. But this is not to say I am not making an effort. I am, but my natural self gets in the way sometimes. So in the context of differences, I say, the key is respect and an open communication. This is like Stephen Covey's 5th habit - seek first to understand, and then to be understood.
3 - Values and beliefs. It is important that your core values and beliefs are aligned. We both value family. We have good relationships with our parents and siblings. We value money, and like fancy stuffs but know our boundaries and limits. So we don't splurge on expensive designer clothes and stuffs. We have the same religion (although we differ in our degrees of religiosity), still when it comes to discussions of religion, they are not much of a trouble to us.
Three things for now. And as we both grow in our relationship, and as our love deepens over time, I will learn more.
Keep on loving!
