Ah stupid meh!

Twice already...twice ignored in MSN. I can't believe he can't say a simple hi and then tell me he's busy...
I'm not going to be fooled again... It's vengeance time.

My eyes...from clear to clouds (bad title, ey!)

It took a while for me to learn to put on and take off my contacts. There was even a time when I had to call up a friend (who was wearing a pair) in the middle of the night (I came home late, by the way) to ask for some help on how I could take them off. I did everything I possibly could do, even asked the aid of my sister to hold my eyelids and yet I just couldn't take them off. I felt they stuck too well. It was a desperate call. My friend gave me tips, and thankfully they worked!

I never gave up on my contacts easily. I practiced and encouraged myself.
The time really did come when I no longer needed someone else's help. No more desperate calls. I eventually learned to put them on and take them off without looking at the mirror and in such a short time! Yes!!!

Yes, I have conquered my little fear. Oh yes, I have. :)

My eyes...from clear to clouds...

I started wearing eyeglasses, spectacles, antyohos, antipara, and according to my friend's daughter - clear shades, at the age thirteen, 1st year high school.
I first noticed that my eyes were no longer functioning well during an exam in our Social Studies class. I was seated at the back. Second to the last seat. The questions for that quiz were written on a Manila paper posted to the blackboard. When I looked at the Manila paper from where I was seated, I realized I couldn't read a thing. I looked at my classmates, my seatmate to the right, to the left and to the back to check if they had any difficulty reading the questions. But they hadn't. They were so engrossed in answering... So I thought, there's nothing wrong w/ the Manila paper. There was something wrong with me. I raised my hand and asked my teacher if I could transfer seat, just for the exam, because I have been having problems with my vision... And you know what my teacher told me? She gave me a straight, NO!. Take your seat!
I was terrified. Oh my God. I'm going to get my first ever zero score! The last recourse, I squinted my eyes.. Lo and behold, I could now decipher the things written on that Manila paper. Not all. But good enough to give me a positive score, not zero! :) From then on, I have been wearing glasses...Not very often, at first. But as my vision worsened, I needed to wear them everyday. It's pretty cumbersome, you know. But do I have much of a choice? Not much. Then in college, when I started attending debut parties of classmates, I began to realize that glasses were a distraction to your face full of make-up. Here I am clad in semi-formal gowns but wearing glasses...Now, I didn't want to look nerdy in formal gowns...so every time I attended a party, I didn't wear glasses. But I'd bring them with me. Just in case, I needed a good view of the debutante or the attendees of the party especially "cute" boys. But throughout most of the duration of the party, I was essentially half-blind. Later in college, some friends who are also visually-impaired have started throwing their glasses and started putting on contact lenses. Those round, soft lenses you put on your eyes...so small, so tiny... They tried to convince me to try it. Oh my! no, never. I was hesitant. No way, I was going to poke my eyes with those things. And they're too expensive. If they get blown away, which I heard, does happen to a lot of contact lens users, there goes your thousand pesos blown away too. It was just impractical! I had a lot of excuses! But the hidden reason was that I was just really too afraid to try them. I thought I could never really get them to put in my eye. It was just not right to be poking something into your eye! I was overriden by the fear. Until... I started working... I realized that I needed to try contacts just once... I recognized my fear and I wanted to eradicate it. So once upon some four years ago, I decided together with a friend, to visit an optometrist. She was also a first-timer. So we went there and had our eyes checked. We were given instructions on how to put them. We tried them. Got our practice... Unfortunately, I was the last person to get my contacts into my eye... It took so long for me...My eyes were getting red already and yet I still couldn't put them on. The optometrist got frustrated. And I was already saying my little prayer,"Oh God. Make this work!" Phew, finally after so many attempts, I got the pair of contacts into my eyes. So now we had to practice how to take them off...Oh my! This maybe difficult. They're so perfectly fit, how could I take them off???!!! And it took another hour to take them off. You know, the problem with me was that, my eyes would immediately close once they see the fingers coming...I was still pretty much fearful...And after so many attempts, I finally got to take them off...

(to be continued...)

Jesus, take the wheel

Jesus, Take the Wheel
(Carrie Underwood)

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh, Jesus take the wheel Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me Oh, why, oh

You, Me & Dupree trailer

Carl and Molly Peterson (Matt Dillon and Kate Hudson) are just starting their new life together—complete with a cute house, boring neighbors, stable jobs and the routines of newlywed existence. There’s just one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed new world… And his name’s Dupree.

When God Made You by Newsong

When God Made You

(Guys)
Its always been a mystery to me,
How two hearts can come together,
And love can last forever.
But now that I have found you I believe,
That a miracle has come when God sends the perfect one.
So gone are all my questions about why,
And i've never been so sure of anything in my life

~chorus~
Oh I wonder what God was thinking,
when he created you.
I wonder if He knew everything I would need,
Because he made all my dreams come true.
When God made you,
He must have been thinking about me.

(Girls)
Ooo ooo,I promise that wherever you may go,
wherever life may lead you,
With all my heart I'll be there too.
And from this moment on I want you to know,
I'll let nothing come between us, and I will love the ones you love.
(guy):So gone are all my questions about why
(girl echoes):about why
And I've never been so sure of anything in my life

Duet:Oh I wonder what God was thinking when he created you,
I wonder if He knew everythin I would need,
Because He made all my dreams come true.
When God made you He must've been thinking about me.

Bridge
He made the sun He made the moon,
To harmonize a perfect tune,
One can't do without the other they just have to be together.
And that is how I know its true,
Your for me and i'm for you and my world
Just cant be right without you in my life

Chorus
(guy) He must have heard every prayer
I've been praying (girl echo) I've been praying (both)
He must've knew everything I would need
When God made you,
He must've been thinking about me.

Snow White and Rose Red

Long, long ago in a faraway land in a small cottage near an enchanted forest there lived a poor old woman w/ her two lovely daughters, Snow White and Rose Red. Snow White and Rose Red were very obedient and hardworking children. In the summer, Rose Red would do the housework. Every morning, she would pick a white and a red rose from her mother’s favorite rosebushes and place them on her mother’s bedside. And in the winter, Snow White would light the fire and hang a shiny brass kettle over the fireplace. Every night, the three of them, mother, Snow White and Rose Red would sit by the fireside while their mother would read them stories from a very large book and the two girls spun wool and listened.

One night, they heard huge frantic knocks on the door. When Rose Red opened the door, she jumped up and screamed in terror. A huge black bear stood by the doorstep and stuck its thick black head through the doorway. The family quickly hid themselves from this terrifying creature.
“Don’t be afraid. I won’t harm you. I only want to warm myself by the fire,” the bear called out.
Realizing that the bear was harmless, the old woman came out from her hiding place saying, Poor bear. Do come inside. You’re welcome to stay.

Before long, the girls became friends with the bear. They tugged at his fur, placed their feet on his back and rolled him over. When morning came, the girls led him out to the door and the bear trotted off to the forest. From then on, the bear came every evening to lay by the fireplace and play with the girls.

But springtime finally came. The bear sad sadly bid goodbye to the family.
“Goodbye. I must go now to the forest and guard my treasures against the wicked dwarf.” It was with sad hearts that the family bid goodbye to their new friend.

One day, as the girls were gathering firewood in the forest, they saw a strange little man with a long long beard as white as snow. His beard was caught in the tree crack. He glared at the girls with his fiery red eyes and shouted, “What are you staring at? Come over here and help me!” Snow White and Rose Red hurried up to him. They pulled him with all their might but the beard was stuck too tight. The dwarf got very impatient. Finally, Snow White got a pair of scissors and cut a piece of his beard to set him free. Instead of thanking the girls, the dwarf got very mad. “ How dare you cut my beard!” And he walked away carrying a sack of gold.

After several days, the girls saw the same old grouchy dwarf again hopping near a brook while fishing. Snow White and Rose Red discovered that his beard got entangled with his line, and a big fish was pulling him into the brook. The only way to save the dwarf was to cut another piece of his long, white beard. So Snow White got a pair of scissors and cut a piece of the beard. The dwarf angry and shouted at them, “Now you’ve cut the best part. Then he grabbed a sack of pearls and walked away w/o thanking the girls.

Days later, their mother sent them on an errand to the city. While walking down the streets, a giant eagle appeared from nowhere and scooped a tiny old man, the same old grouchy dwarf. The girls took pity on him and managed to free him the eagles claws. But instead of thanking the girls, the dwarf just stood up and left.

As Snow White and Rose Red were heading towards home, they saw a bag of jewels that the dwarf left behind. They were admiring the jewels when the dwarf came back and scolded them anew.

All of a sudden a huge black bear came out of the forest and gave the evil dwarf a single blow killing him instantly. Snow White and Rose Red saw this giant creature, fearing for their lives, they ran as fast as they could. But the bear called out, Snow White, Rose Red, It’s me!
The black bear came up to them and its bearskin fell off and a handsome prince clad in gold stood before them.
“I’ve been under that wicked dwarf’s spell for a long time. Only his death could turn me back to a prince.
In time, the prince married Snow White, while Rose Red married his brother. The old woman lived many more peaceful and happy years. And they shared all the great treasures the dwarf stole from the prince’s kingdom.


Condensed from a German fairy tale by the Brothers Grimm.

hmmmm...

I met someone...some guy over the net...actually, i met him through this "friendship site". He emailed me and I replied and we've been corresponding through emails for almost three months now. And...as often as we want. He seems ok. He seems to be a nice person.

I'm just enjoying this friendship...and whatever the future has in store for this kind of friendship, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! ;-)

24

24 is my favorite TV show, a truly gripping, heart-stopping suspense that follows the operations of CTU agent Jack Bauer. 24 is the number of hours in a day. 24 is my birthday; to be exact, the 24th day of the month of March. And 24 is my age at the moment. Before I bid adieu to this age and before I begin my life at 25 which will soon commence (if God wills), I decided to give some pondering on what has transpired over the year I enjoyed being 24.

Last year, I had a birthday that commemorated the death of Jesus Christ and a feast of fish – bulad and bangus, and some veggies and benignit on the side. My only attendees were members of the family. I got no gifts but TONS of greetings – text messages mostly (I just wished each meant P1.00 added to my savings account) and an e-card from a friend in New York. I never really threw out birthday parties. The last one was when I turned twenty-two and second to the last was when I had my debut, and yes, at 18. Following this trend, I’ll have my next birthday bash when I turn 28.

Last year also meant new job, new friends and new challenges for me. On December 2004, 3 months before my birthday, I joined another company, a bigger one. Bigger in the sense that it employs more than 200 individuals, 70% are men, 30% are women. I was quite excited with this new environment – more men, which I assumed would mean, hopefully, more opportunities for getting hitched. A year has passed; I should have realized women tend to overanalyze situations. I am still single, still waiting for Mr, Right to pass by.

New friends. Oh yes. My colleagues in the Finance and Admin Department which comprise 5% of the total population of the company have added to my friends’ list. And I should say I get along with them very well for I reached one year working with them.

New challenges. By midyear, I became an officer in our Toastmasters club. Initially, I was appointed assistant to the VP-Ed. But the VP-PR position got vacant, so the original VP-Ed took it. Naturally, I ascended to the VP-Ed throne. I never realized this was the busiest position until I took my first assignment. I never realized it could be frustrating until members of the club started to get lazy on delivering speeches. Despite all of these, I am glad for the lessons it gave me. I’m indeed very fortunate to have been given this responsibility.

Two of my closest and very good friends and I went on our supposedly dream trip. It wasn’t really to a dream destination but I call it “dream” because when we were young we used to dream about taking faraway trips together. Really together. Never have we thought that our short vacation in Manila was already that dream realized.

I thought that would have completed my life at 24. But somehow the stars have been very kind they granted one impossible wish. My friends and colleagues always tease me about not having a boyfriend, and most of all, not having one since birth. Sometimes it does irritate me and sometimes it makes me desperate. Hopeless romantic, that’s what they call me. And they’d tease me too about never being kissed. Yes, I’ve never been kissed. So what? I retorted but deep inside me yearns to try that, too. Surprisingly, some guy gave me that. He wasn’t my boyfriend, not even some guy interested in me, not even a friend. It happened during a night out organized by my balikbayan friend. I got so drunk, got so wasted and practically threw myself over my friend’s guy friend who I just met that night. And the rest is history. It was just a kiss, mind you. Nothing more than that. So that’s how I got my first kiss. Unforgettable and unromantic. At least though, I got to try it before it might be too late.

One month more to go…I’m going to be 25. Who knows what the remaining days can offer me before I turn 25. But whatever is in store for me, I am excited about it. I just can’t wait to be 25.

25th March 2006

March 25, 2006. A memorable date in my life. It's actually a day after my birthday. And this day, I competed in the Toastmasters International Division C Speech Contest representing Area 21 for the International Category. Fortunately I won...I won third place! It's actually mixed feelings. I feel good and disappointed. Good that I won't be experiencing the same tension, nervousness one feels during contests. Disappointed because I didn't win when I have in fact given out my best and it was truly a remarkable performance (I think so! :D). Disappointed too that I have spent so much to prepare - money, time, effort, etc. and ended up not getting what I wanted. But like the message of my speech, life could sometimes be frustrating, unfair and ugly. Indeed, it is full of uncertainties. And amidst all these, I can only give out my trust. Trust in God, trust in His plans. Definitely, I will enjoy my life. ;)

Dare Me

Are you ready for the world?!

Armed with a college diploma, an impressive TOR, guts, and dreams, I was ready for anything. Underneath my breath, I declared: Dare me!

Honestly, beneath my bold statement was a bundle of quivers, gulps and anxieties. Despite this uneasy feeling, I was determined to fulfill my dreams. Dare me!

In college, a man I deemed smart and rich, told me, “You’ve got to have a map for your life. You have to set some direction. Five years, ten years from now…what do you want to happen to your life? Write them down. Look at it from time to time. This will help you achieve your goals.” So I did exactly what he told me. I made this map – after I graduate, I’m going to review for the CPA Board Exams, take the exams, be a CPA. Work for an auditing firm. Stay there for five years. Get an MBA. Get out of that auditing firm and work for a multinational company in a top position. Drive my own car and have my own boyfriend. Maybe by 28, get married and have kids.

I took the board exams, passed it, worked for an auditing firm for two years, went out of that firm and I got myself employed in a Japanese-owned company in a below the top position. I take 10E or 10F and then 17D or 17B to work. And my boyfriend is this guy named “No one.” I actually missed 3 more years in audit, haven’t even started my MBA, and my job position isn’t even considered “top” and much doubt surrounds any rise to the top. I’m 24. Neither could I afford to buy a second-hand, the earliest model of any brand of car.

And I asked myself, am I losing direction in my life? Will I be successful in this chosen career? Will I be the person I dream to be? I didn’t hit the targets. I got lost in my own map. And I started wondering whether I chose the right career, whether I made the right decisions, whether I made the right map.

Back then when I made that map, I didn’t know life after university was going to be terrible, that you’ll bruise your heart and soul. I didn’t know then some dreams live and some die. I didn’t know life could sometimes be frustrating, unfair, and ugly. Sometimes I just wished I should not have grown up; I should have not left school. I should have just remained a child whose mind is problem-free, innocent to the cruelty and complexity of this world. Sometimes I wish I never had to decide so I never had to regret. I wish life is black and white, no gray areas. Everything goes as planned. But such is the mystery of life. You have everything in place. You’re right on track yet somewhere along the way, you find yourself headed to the wrong end, in a hopeless situation. The world seems to turn its back on you yet, in an instant, miraculously, you find a solution to every problem, order to your chaotic life, and enough strength to move on.

You’ve earned your PhD, traveled around the world, served in various organizations and yet still not feel an expert. You thought by education and experience, you’ll never give out answers of “I don’t know.” But somehow, you still find that life’s questions are too many and not too many have answers.

You wish you could have power of premonition so you could have the best preparation. You wish you’d know what’s at the end of each road, so you could take the right one. You wish you’d know how many more years to live, so you could make a time frame of everything you want to achieve and never have to say it’s too late.

But come to think of it too, if everything in life had to present itself clearly, would there be such words as excitement, anticipation, intriguing, interesting, and spontaneity? How plain and boring could our stories be! How few the life lessons we learn! How tiresome it is to listen to our speeches!

My life right now may have not turned out the way I wanted it. And maybe some dreams have not been realized now but perhaps later. I may not have found Mr. Right. Still, I believe he’s out there. Now may not just be the right time. Maybe I’ll never drive my own car. Maybe someone else will drive for me. I may have a lot of questions, some have quick answers, and others don’t. And many of them may never be answered at all. But I still love the mysterious things of this so-called life. My life has its own share of excitements, intrigues and spontaneity.

Mother Teresa told a brilliant man who was at a fork in his life and was asking for a prayer for clarity: “I’ve never had the clarity. What I’ve always had was trust. So I pray that you trust God.” Yes, trust is all we need. Trust God. Trust ourselves.

Ready for the world? Armed with trust, dare me!

Quarter-life Crisis

Got this one from the internet...For all those in their twenty's, read this. It will help!

Keep it real: Yes, the 20s may be an exciting time of your life. But they can also be extremely frustrating. Wilner suggests setting "realistic expectations." Be aware that there will be challenges. For instance, no matter how much your ego is pampered by high grades and flattering remarks from professors, no matter how "big" you are in school now, you might (and chances are you will) have to start out small and humble in the real world. "The reality of it is that most people are gonna make certain kinds of compromises as they go through their 20s," says Arnett. "They might have to accept less than the ideal. Most of the jobs available to people aren't wonderful jobs. They're a way to make a living."

Goals vs. Deadlines:It's always good to have goals because those will give you purpose. But Alexandra Robbins, co-author of "Quarterlife Crisis," explains that goals can be a disadvantage if they are confused with deadlines. "Don't put pressure on yourself to reach these goals before you're out of your twenties," she warns. Her follow-up book "Conquering the Quarterlife Crisis" is due for release late this year. It includes advice from twentysomethings who went through the crisis and survived.

Keep calm: However, even if you don't have a clear idea of what to do with your life before getting a taste of what's out there, there's no need to push the panic button and run to the nearest coffee shop to overdose on caffeine. Today's society puts a lot of pressure on twentysomethings to achieve something at a younger age. Don't let that bother you. There seems to be a mad rush to succeed. Remember that there is no race to be won, only mistakes to be suffered from hasty decisions.

Know yourself: Finally, take advantage of your time in college. After you graduate, you will realize that this is a luxury you will not always have in the real world. Learn as much about yourself as you can. Different experiences will help you discover things as simple as your likes and dislikes, and as profound as what you want out of life. Life is a huge roller coaster full of sharp turns, unexpected twists, and sudden drops. Hopefully, after you survive the first 25 years of your life without much damage to your psyche, you will be able to relax and enjoy the ride. Keep in mind that amid the threat of a quarterlife crisis is the hope that the 20s may still be a wonderful time in your life. And the wonderful thing about being young is that you have the power to make your dreams happen!

A Kiss

January 13/14, 2006. I shall write this down...I shall take down the date...And I shall not forget it... my first kiss...Well, it wasn't amazing probably because I was soooo drunk and it was with someone I barely know. And what was it like? I never thought a kiss could be so darn WET. Hahaha! Finally, after waiting for 24 years..."never been kissed" no more!

Pinoy Sentiments

I asked my brother, a Fine Arts student, “Would you like to go abroad someday? Would you like to work in the US perhaps after you graduate? He casually answered, Nah...I’m okay here in the Philippines…And then I asked my sister, a third year Nursing student, do you like to work abroad as a nurse? You know that nurses earn much abroad. And she replied, I don’t know. Maybe. Just don’t get your hopes too high, Ate, forget the dollars. It’s that not easy especially with all those tests… I’ll just probably stay here and be a community nurse. And I told both of them, I also answered that way when I was also a student like you. Perhaps, your mindset will change when you will able to work, earn your own money or when you will be raising a family. After two years of employment here, getting a salary every 15th (though I am not raising a family), and shouldering some household expenses, and with the continuous rise in the prices of goods, the deteriorating political condition, I finally gave it much thought to work abroad or migrate elsewhere, Australia, Canada, or US. Perhaps, perhaps someday, my dear brother and sister, you will feel the same way too. Fellow Toastmasters, guests and friends, good evening. Are you feeling the same way I’m feeling? Would you also like to tread the distant and unknown yet seemingly promising and prosperous lands? Yes? And when you finally bring that feeling to fruition, you will be adding to the escalating 7.76 million Filipinos overseas.

My dear Filipino brothers and sisters, I want to stay in as much as I can. Because the truth is, I don’t want to go out of the country... but I do want to go, too. I do want to go out– I want to shop till I drop in Singapore, be one of the firsts to visit Disneyland Hongkong, party with my friend in New York, create memories in Bali, find a lover in Paris…Yes, I want to visit the other parts of the world. But I don’t want to go out, too. I don’t want to leave my family, my friends, my PICPA-Toastmasters Club. I don’t want to earn dollars cleaning strangers’ butt when I can do “cleaning financial statements and tax returns”. I don’t want a job that’s way beneath my skills. But why am I contemplating of leaving the country? Why work abroad? Why live abroad? Why are Filipinos migrating in droves to Canada? Why do OFWs that are professionals opt to work as domestic helpers in Italy? Why are doctors becoming nurses? Why the growing number of Filipino women marrying foreigners?

Indeed, with an 11 percent unemployment rate, the rise of the value of the dollar against the peso, who wouldn’t be lured with working abroad or migrating? Lack of economic opportunity and a sense of being in a nation adrift are driving our kababayans abroad in search of their dreams -- and dollars, pounds and yen, according to sociologists and researchers.
The diaspora is growing. Each year, more than 800,000 people leave, some temporarily. And 2,700 Filipinos are departing daily for overseas work. And remarkably the scope is so diverse. According to experts, no other Asian country has so many types of workers -- from nanny to engineer to circus performer -- in so many different places, from Hong Kong to Italy, Chad to Kazakhstan.

I am not presently and actively seeking employment abroad or processing an immigrant application. Still a bigger part of my heart, my mind, and my soul wishes to stay with Inang Bayan. And I nonetheless have an enormous HOPE for the Philippines. I refuse to believe that we will forever be a Third World country. I believe that Filipinos have great minds and the ultimate solutions to our problems cannot be found in abandoning our country. And I am not forcing you to stay. And as one UP professor said “we cannot really equate working abroad with abandoning one’s obligation to the native land, especially if the purpose is to pursue higher knowledge and acquire new experiences and skills while getting better compensation. In fact, the OFWs are dubbed modern heroes because higit na may malasakit sila sa ating bayan kaysa sa mga dayuhang negosyante at bangkong global na nagpapautang sa atin. Ang mga OFW ang tumutulong na makalutang ang ating bansa para makabuntot man lang ito sa agos ng pag-angat ng Asya.

Even then, I still would want to challenge our government, to the elderly, to keep the fire of hope burning in young people like me, my brother and my sister, and in other Filipinos who have opted to stay, and offered their talents for the benefit our country. And for the Filipinos overseas, do not completely turn your back on the Philippines. Do your job well. Show them what a Filipino is truly made of and eventually give back what you owe the nation.
One day, in the future when I shall find myself in the land of the rising sun, in land down under, in the shopping capital of the world, or in the land of milk and honey, know that I shall return to my home, to where my heart is, in the Pearl of the Orient Seas.

And I would like to render you a song, a popular song that warmed my Filipino heart, hopefully yours too…If you know the song, I’m sure you do, sing with me please…

Pinoy Ako
Orange And Lemons

Lahat tayo mayroon pagkakaiba madalang makikita na
Ibat ibang kagustuhan ngunit iisang patutunguhan
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap ko
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?

Chorus:
Pinoy ikaw pinoy
Ipakita sa mundoKung ano ang kaya mundo
Ibang-iba pinoy
Wag kang matatakot
Ipagmalaki mo pinoy ako
Pinoy tayo

Ipakita mo ang tunay at sino ka?
Mayroon masasama at maganda
Wala naman perpekto
Basta magpakatotoo oohh… oohh…
Gabay at pagmamahal ang hanap mo
Pagbibigay ng halaga sa iyo
Nais mong ipakilala kung sino ka man talaga?
(repeat chorus)

Never Been Kissed

I'm 24 and I haven't had my first kiss, and yes of course, my first boyfriend. How's that? I know I'm not alone in the world. And I know that there are still others older than me that are also expriencing the same predicament. But really, it sometimes bothers me. Well, only at times when I'm not doing anything and a lot of thoughts get into my mind, and one of them is that. Huh! I don't know...I really don't care much (like saying it's such a weight on my shoulder) And I remember telling myself before, if I ain't getting married, I don't care just as long as I'm rich, and I can afford to travel around the world and most importantly I'm HAPPY. :-D

Musings Aboard A PUJ

Ay, tuara, San Carlos…Para!!!

And this begins my journey…

I reside in Bulacao, Talisay City and work at a company located in I.T. Park, Apas, Cebu City. FYI, it’s not Apas, Lahug Cebu City. It’s simply Apas, Cebu City. Lahug and Apas are two different baranggays in Cebu City. If you want to how that came to be, I don’t know, but my point is to get to work I have to take at least two rides on a public utility jeepney a.k.a. PUJ. The first ride is on the way to Cebu City. I disembark at Sto. Rosario Church. Any jeepney with a San Carlos signboard will take me there. And then I take a connecting ride from Pelaez St. to Apas on board any Apas Roadlines – 17B or 17D. Sometimes it takes three rides especially that San Carlos bound PUJs are very rare in Bulacao thus I am compelled to take a tricycle ride to St. Paul where such PUJs abound. Now, with those rides, how long does it take to get to my workplace? Approximately an hour.

I travel alone. Ever since I transferred to another company, I have been taking this solitary travels to work more often. My father, the official chauffeur at home, used to take me to work but when I transferred to a new company which is farther than my previous one and when he learned that I can get in to work as late as 9AM, and after a few trips, he finally tendered his resignation. He complained that it was just too far and explained that there is no need for me to hurry to work since my time in is at 9. I couldn’t prevent him from resigning so I gave my reluctant OK, and added a litany of complaints - so this means that I’ll have to inhale as much carbon monoxide available in the atmosphere and endure the scorching heat of the sun or the hassles of torrential rains, risk my life with criminals boarding jeepneys…” But my tantrums mattered nothing to him. Do I have a choice? Yes, I do. I can take a cab. But that’s too costly for me, too much for my measly net pay. And this leaves me to one choice, taking the PUJ. (Gulp)

A solitary one hour ride…I thought it would be an excruciating experience but I was wrong. I realized that on these one hour rides I get to do a lot of thinking…a lot of thinking on just about anything.

One time, after receiving a heartbreaking news through text, I used that time to think about where I could have gone wrong. And I used that time to extract as much learning as I can from that experience and thank God for finally giving me peace of mind.

In other times too, these solitary rides allow me to contemplate on my life. At 24, at an age when so many questions and options confront you, and living in this fast paced world, wanting so much to do so much or else it might be too late, there’s so little time for reflective moments. So on these rides, I give myself a mental shake and ask these questions: Am I living my life to the fullest? What are my priorities? Am I pleasing God with my actions? What kind of life would I want to look back when I reach my golden years? These are the times I get to evaluate my decisions and assess my goals.

I get to dream of dreams that are farfetched and think of amazing ways to achieve them. I get to picture numerous future me’s – a wife to an adorable rich man, an eligible bachelorette running her own company, a single mom struggling to support herself and her daughter/son, a woman (unmarried or married) delivering her piece at an international speech contest and ultimately winning it.

Desires and wishes are also formed during these rides. Passing by UP so many times triggered my desire to take up a Master’s degree from that school. When the jeepney passes by castle-like Waterfront Hotel, I wish to meet Prince Charming very soon. And that Bernard Palanca look-a-like sitting across me makes me wish that it would be him. Haay… When that E-Telecare signage catches my eye, I feel like shifting careers. (Darn, these call center people earn lots of money!)

My dear friends, this is a testimony to the statement - there is always a time for everything. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, use that time wisely. Even while you’re taking the shower, take that time to think, to plan, to reflect, to create your winning speech. Time is indeed gold.

NEC nya, Nong… Lugar lang…

Will you be my friend?

You know, I am so much intrigued by your personality.
You're so different from the other guys I've met.
And for that short time we were together, I felt so much at ease with you. But I don't know if you are real...I just want us first to be friends...and let's see where and how time will lead us.
You're so full of surprises and... I like that

If, then maybe

If I was just brave enough to tell you how I feel, maybe I wouldn't have lost you.
If I had listened to my heart than to my head, maybe I would have you here in my arms.
If I had risked my pride, maybe you would have the courage to tell me how you truly feel.
If I had told more people, especially those close to you, about this feeling, maybe it won't hurt this much.
If I didn't pretend, then maybe you would have noticed that I was hurting when you were flirting with someone else or maybe you would have seen the brilliance in my smile every time I see you.
If I hadn't held back my emotions, maybe you would have heard the beating of my heart when you were so close to me.
If I hadn't valued the friendship more than anything else, maybe I would have lost a friend and gained a lover and made an enemy.
If I had just allowed my feelings to take control of me, maybe I wouldn't suffer immensely but then someone else will be crying terribly in pain.
If I had just tried to keep in touch when I went away, maybe you wouldn't have played around.
If I just flirted a little bit, maybe you would have sensed that I liked you.
If I hadn't brought along a guy friend just to make you jealous, then maybe you wouldn't have given up.
If I had said yes to your semi-invitations for a date, maybe we would have the time to talk and made things clear between us.
If I had just tried to fight for my feelings, then maybe things were easier.
If I was just as gutsy as other women, maybe I would have known the truth earlier and pain won't linger for so long.
If I hadn't went away, maybe you wouldn't think I was trying to push you out of my life.
But things weren't getting any better. The longer I stayed, the longer I see you, the longer I feel your presence made me only suffer. A happy face I put on yet deep inside me was hurting badly. I was hurting and confused while you were cold and silent. And now that you have found someone new, someone who loved you back, someone who doesn't push you away, someone brave enough to tell you how she feels, I felt I haven't done enough.
I may only have regrets and memories, yet I still feel I have done the right thing - to go away, away from you.
I wish to see you again but not now. Let me get over you. And we shall meet again at the right time, at the time when wounds are already healed, at a time when I shall find my man too.

Regrets by Panyang

if tears were meant to flow
i'd rather let my pain grow
if songs were sung to heal
i'd rather be silent and still

if i were to turn back time
i'd rather dream of you and sigh
if i just said those words to you
i'd rather be feeling gay, not blue

if you are meant for somebody
i'd rather be your friend only
if i had known that you loved me
i'd rather accept than set you free

if i were to see you everyday
i'd rather be with you than stay away
if goodbye means now
i'd rather keep you in my heart somehow

if loving someone can help me get over you
i'd rather do it to help me move on too
if letting you go was best for me
i'd rather be lonely to make you happy

if things will be better this way
i'd rather wish you the best today
if there is no I in YOU
i'd rather wish you will love her the way i do

if one day we will meet again
i'd rather wait if i can
if one day i will be over you
i'd rather try though its hard to do

if today you will finally go
i'd rather let you than to stoop that low
if my heart can take the pain
i'd rather take it than go insane

if today is goodbye
i will just have to try to move on and let you hear me say
you were a big part of my everyday
thank you for making me who i am today

DEVELOP THE RIGHT (SELF) ATTITUDE

Here are 10 suggestions to help you develop and maintain a healthy
self-image. Read them slowly. Meditate on them regularly.

1. Hate your sin, but never hate yourself.

2. Be quick to repent.

3. When God gives you light, walk in it.

4. Stop saying negative things about yourself. God loves you and it's
wrong to hate what He loves. He has great plans for you, so you're in
conflict with Him when you speak negatively concerning your future.

5. Never be afraid to admit that you've made a mistake and don't always
assume that when things go wrong, it must be 'my fault'.

6. Don't meditate excessively on what you've done, right or wrong; both
of these activities keep your mind on you! Center your thoughts on
Christ.

7. Take good care of yourself physically. Make the best of what God gave
you to work with, but don't be obsessed with your appearance.

8. Never stop learning but don't allow your education to become a point
of pride. God doesn't use you because of what's in your head: He uses
you because of what's in your heart.

9. Realize that your talents are a gift, not something you have
manufactured yourself; never look down on people who can't do what you
do.

10. Don't despise your weaknesses they keep you dependent on God.

-- Author Unknown