Till Kingdom Come...by Coldplay

Whoever this song is for, I don't care. It's got some sweet lyrics...from the Amazing Spiderman movie.

Still my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.

Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

January

The first two weeks of January was very stressful for me at work. I don't know what really came over me but I was overcome with "maldita-ness" especially to my London counterparts. I think you call this "enough is enough" moment. "I don't want anymore to be treated like you always do. I am not your slave!" That's how I acted but I didn't say those words. Typical me. Anyway, I missed the BD11 crucial call in my work life. I have never been absent on this call ever since I started working with the bank but for the very first time I had to missed it.  And I am glad I did! The call went well so it just goes to show I should have done this even before. LOL.  It feels liberating to have missed that!

Then for the first time in 6 years, I was able to go home to Cebu for its annual Sinulog festival.  However, as fate had it, I wasn't able to take part in the festivities. Blame this partly on my age.

Anyway, my 5-day vacation in my hometown was truly memorable.

My family booked an overnight stay at one of Cebu's premier resorts. It was such a good way to bond! Everyone was happy. Everyone was having a good time.

I was able to attend mass in the Basilica del Sto Nino with my grandma. I thank the patron saint for all the protection he has given us Cebuanos. I was also happy that I was able to take my grandma out of the house so she could once in a while take her mind off household chores.

I bonded with my dearest friend over wine and cheese at the newest and hippiest French resto in Cebu. I love that they have something like this is in Cebu. What I like about it? They offer a number of affordable wines and tapas but the place where you enjoy your wine is done al fresco.

There was a supposedly reunion with my high school classmates during the day of the Sinulog but due to some unforeseen events, I ended up not going. Besides, I also had an important rendezvous on that day that I shouldn't miss. It was a short meeting with a person. I don't know why I had that strong feeling that I should meet this person despite the horrible traffic and the transportation difficulties on that day. But fate was kind and it gave me a way to be there at our meeting place. We only had a few hours together. Just enough to warm us up but also enough to make it "bitin".  Whatever happened on those few hours of togetherness somehow made us yearn for more.


All I can say is, January was equally stressful and equally good. Despite all the stress, there is something that makes me smile somehow.

Throwback 2013

Looking back at what has happened in 2013:

Travels

I only had two international travels in 2013. I went to Hongkong with my dear friend from high school.  This was in February.  I went to Indonesia with another set of friends. We went to Bali and Yogyakarta in July.

My domestic travels brought me to Baler, Aurora and tried surfing for the very first time. I certainly want to do it again!

I went a few times back to my hometown in Cebu. Finally, I was able to try swimming with the whale sharks in Oslob. It was definitely a marvelous encounter. 

There was a Malaysia trip that I cancelled as I had to prioritise my CIMA studies. Oh well, there will be another time to visit "Malaysia, Truly Asia"!

Then in December I visited Bacolod once again. This time to attend the wedding of a dear friend.
Bacolod is a nice little city with lots of gastronomic adventures. 

Career

I would say there was nothing much that happened in this area. I did have new bosses though and got to work with old colleagues once again. I was chosen to represent our department in a working group. First time in my DB career that I had experienced this. I wouldn't say I successfully delivered but I learned in the process and indeed expanded my network. 

Last year too, I had my chance to move out. I received a lot of calls for interviews but only went to one. And I guess it was not my year, the potential employer didn't call back after the interview. 

Family

2013 I lost my dearest grandma, She was 88 years old. She indeed lived a full life. I will always look up to my grandma for inspiration.  She was a woman of strength. She was not born to a rich family. She was started out as a househeld help.   When she met my grandpa together they started a family and a business retailing rice. This business blossomed and they were able to put their kids, my father and my uncle through college. They were able to buy a house and lot, and a nice jeep. We're not uber rich but we are living okay.  Thanks to my grandma and grandpa who worked hard for the family, and who have shown us that with hard work and perseverance, you will get what you want. 

My parents who have been in the US for a year have decided to come back. It is not yet clear up to now if they would like to go back. Either way, I will support their decision. I am just glad they were given a chance to see the other side of the world. 

This year too saw the birth of my new niece. She is just adorable! The other reason why my parents loved it here. They just enjoy their apos!

My cousin from London and her family visited Manila in August and it was an absolutely lovely time with them. 

I am thankful 2013 was good to my family.

Disasters

If there was a year that Philippines experienced the worst in terms of natural disasters, I would think it is 2013. We had the 7 something magnitude earthquake in Bohol and Cebu. Then in November we had the strongest typhoon ever recorded in human history hit us. Yolanda/Haiyan totally destroyed a lot of cities and towns and left thousands dead and missing. 

But we saw the Filipinos rise above all these. Everyone was helping each other.  There is a brighter future for us! Bangon, Pilipinas!

And some more...

Well in terms of what I had set out at the start of 2013, I was able to achieve the stock investments which I had started last year. Then I was able to watch a Lisa Macuja performance and was even able to meet her personally on stage! Well for the rest of the goals, as usual, I didn't achieve them all of them. Oh well.

No regrets though!

I turned 32 too! And still single! Hahaha.  But my birthday celebration was one of a kind. Not the usual I always had. 

I finally gave myself a smartphone - a Samsung S4 of which I am loving to bits. What I just hate is the my service provider's fuckin' service!!! Globe you just made me wish NOT to renew after my contract ends!!!

In terms of this effin' love life, nothing new. Another epic fail! Hahaha. Anyways, I am probably not just girlfriend material. Oh well. Not my loss! Haha

So there you had it 2013. It was a good year. Learned another set of lessons. Gained new friends. Rekindled old ties. Lost some weight and gained them back again. Life is just how you make out of what it offers you. 

Cheers!

Throwforward 2014

Before I do a throwback of 2013, let me first do my customary New Year's resolution. 

I know 2013 was a memorable year. It was a year of both gains and losses. It was another year of new learnings. 

Here you go my 2014 list:

Get a new job - a new job that is based outside my country.  I've always wanted to but had always been afraid of the risks. 

Continue to invest in stocks.  I'll increase my investment by 50%. 

Travel to the US and visit friends and family.  I've always wanted to do this I was a kid. 

Be affectionate. I am not a very showy person. I tend to keep my feelings to myself. But this year, I promise myself to show to others that I truly care. Tell them that I care for them. Say I love you more often. 

Buy a house and lot.  This one is dependent on the new job. 

Try a new exercise regime - yoga or crossfit maybe.  Eat healthy. More veggies and fruits. Go for fish.

Hopefully, I passed the November CIMA exams.  Then CIMA qualified by end of 2014!

I've always included a love life. But I always end up still single. I guess a love life doesn't need to involve a man. It doesn't have to be the romantic kind of thing. So this year, I promise to be more loving to those around me. I resolve to be more appreciative, be more grateful. I promise to cherish relationships. 

2014, let's rock!!!

Habit 4 - Think Win-Win

This is the habit of creating effective interpersonal leadership. In order to manage our relationships with others properly we need to think "Win/Win". This isn't just a technique that you can apply to every day situations and relationships, it's a philosophy - a whole way of thinking and being.

This philosophy is based on 6 paradigms of interaction. Basically, every time we interact with others it fits into one of these categories:

• Win/Win
• Win/Lose
• Lose/Win
• Lose/Lose
• Win
• Win/Win or No Deal

Let's look at each of these types of interactions as Covey describes them:

Win/Win - Mutually beneficial and co-operative. All parties come out on top

Win/Lose - "If I win, you lose." This is very authoritarian in style and can be seen as overly competitive. It' a win at all costs mentality which is usually instilled from childhood.

Lose/Win - "If I lose, you win." This is usually the attitude of people who want to keep the peace and not upset the applecart. The problem with Lose/Win is that whilst you may feel happy your friend/colleague etc. has come out on top, this can however lead to an eventual breakdown in relationships as resentment builds up.

Lose/Lose - This happens when two Win/Lose people clash, it leads to a stubborn impasse as they try to beat each other at all costs.

Win - Don't really want anyone to lose they just want everyone to come out on top. It's an "every man for himself" mentality.

Win/WIn or No Deal - This is where, if a mutually beneficial outcome cannot be reached, then you know it's okay to walk away with no hard feelings.

What's the best option?

The best option really depends on what situation you are in at the time, what you want to achieve, and what the other person wants to achieve.

If you value a relationship, you may opt for Lose/Win in order to keep the peace. If you want to increase competition (in your salesforce for example) you may go for a Win/Lose strategy.

In an interdependent relationship, Win/Lose doesn't work. If I Win I will make you feel bad which leads to a withdrawal from my emotional bank account. The same goes for Lose/WIn - I stop caring about you because you don't care - and Lose/Lose - we both make withdrawals from each others accounts. The only viable option is Win/Win, or Win/Win/No Deal.

How do you achieve a Win/Win situation?

The are 5 "dimensions" (as Covey calls them) to achieving a Win/Win situation, which each build up on each other to form effective interpersonal leadership:

So character builds relationships, which leads to an agreement within an agreed system and manner of process. Note that in the diagram above an agreement is required before you decide on the system and processes. This leads back to the habit of putting first things first - if you don't know what you want then you can't achieve it.

Covey uses a great analogy regarding creating agreements:

Developing a Win/Win performance agreement is the central activity of management. With an agreement in place, employees can manage themselves within the framework of that agreement. The manager can then serve like a pace car in a race. He can get things going and then get out of the way. His job from then on is to remove the oil spills.

Systems need to exist in order to allow a Win/Win situation to take place. If you think Win/Win but the system rewards Win/Lose then everyone loses faith and the system collapses. Reward systems need to be aligned with the goals and beliefs of the organisations.

All systems need to be Win/Win if this is the goal of the organisation. You can't just rely on the rewards system motivating employees to think Win/Win, you need to include planning, communication strategy, budgeting, training - every aspect of the organisation needs to be thinking the same way.

Covey also notes that if you put good people into a bad system you get bad results, the whole path to a Win/Win situation is built from the ground up on the 5 dimensions, you can't ignore one and hope the others fall into place.

What have I learned from this habit?

I've learned that it's not what I want from a situation, it's more about what others want. We can never reach a mutually acceptable solution if we don't know what each other wants to get out of it.

I've also learned that it's okay to walk away from a situation - assuming that the other party is okay with this - you don't lose face and it enables you to revisit the situation further down the road with no animosity.

What am I going to do about it?

I need to ask myself and others what they want from a situation - and of course, being the proactive person now that I am, I can do that!

I need to know also, to walk away from a situation when it's starting to look like Win/Lose, Lose/Win or Lose/Lose. I need to understand that it doesn't make me look bad, it's a No Deal situation that will only end in resentment from one, or both parties. I think the terms is "agree to disagree". Fingers crossed that I can keep to this one, I have to admit I'm a Win/Lose kind of girl!

http://www.flippingheck.com/7-Habits-Habit-4----Think-WinWin