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Tonight, I was again confronted with my family's financial problems. My mom asked me whether I was going to go and find work in Dubai next year. And I was kinda surprised why she asked. Although I know there's something wrong. And I had a feeling it was financial which was almost always the case. You see, my father owes a huge amount of money from their employee coop. The money was used to finance the hospitalization of my grandfather then. Anyway, some silly text message reached his boss which said that an employee owed a huge sum and yet no payment has been made. When my father's boss told him about it. It somehow worried my father. He was the biggest creditor and though payments have been made but very minimal. So my father thought that the anonymous texter must have referred to him. Now, my father is worried about it. He wants to pay off at least half of the debt. But where do we get the money??? I'm not earning that much. My mom doesn't have a full-time job. And I now feel the burden is upon me as the eldest child.

I had wanted to work abroad ever since we got burdened financially from my grandpa's hospitalization. I had seen how hard it was to be treated well when you don't have money. I had seen how my parents scrambled for money. It was difficult for the average Filipino worker to get health care. Our Philhealth and SSS sickness benefits are not enough. I had seen the health care system of this country at its worst. And I had vowed myself to leave this country and find work elsewhere.

Unfortunately, I haven't been accepted to those jobs I applied for. Then it came to a point where I no longer wanted to leave to the extent that I didn't take any huge step to get a job abroad. The determination dwindled.

Maybe this time, I will have to consider really leaving the country and risk looking for a job in Dubai or Singapore. It's time to be aggressive of this job hunting. I cannot stand seeing my parents worry about money. I cannot let it happen when my mom would work as a DH in Hongkong or Singapore. If there's anyone who should leave, then it has to be me.