A Difficult Conversation

Tonight  I had the most difficult conversation...probably the most difficult conversation in my entire life.

I just gave out a really bad rating to someone in my team.  And what made it really difficult?  Ok let me enumerate the reasons:

- the person thinks highly of himself, rated himself Very Good, while we the managers rated him as not even good at all.

- the person didn't see this coming. In my catch ups with him, I never ever mentioned he was going to get this rating at the end of the year.

- he did really some good things but the results or the way he did them didn't really meet the expectations of higher management.

I am just glad during this conversation my two managers were there to support the rating or the evaluation.  But still I have to own this message. But the thing is how can I own it when I don't wholeheartedly believe in this rating?  And this is the most difficult thing! I wish I can sleep over it.

I hope tomorrow will be a better day!