Dearies at One!

My dearest dearie, My love dearie

Happy 12th!

Indeed it has been a happy 12 months with you and I look forward to more days, months, and years of us together. Forever!

I am very blessed you came into my life. You made me a better person. Having you made me discover a lot of things about myself. Life has been more colorful and livelier with you around.

I am sorry for the times I have hurt you, for being 'insensitive' at times, for 'ignoring' you, for doubting you sometimes.
I'm sorry I've been selfish. I don't promise that I won't hurt you again (but I will try), know still that I love you so much. And love is about acceptance and forgivenes. I accept you for who you are - your past, your future. I embrace your being you and for what you will become. And because I know I am part of who will become in the future, I am comfortable you'll just turn out fine or even the greatest ever! :) I love you dearie!!!

Thank you for loving me deeply, and being very understanding. Thank you for being my shoulder to cry on. Thank you for believing in me and all my potentials. Thank you for listening to my stories, and all that I just like talking about.

Looking back last year when we just started 'dating' on wechat. Hahaha and our first ever date in Cebu, and then our second date in BGC, I said then to myself this is the man for me. Why? He is everything I want in my man: smart, loving, sweet, kindhearted, humble, responsible...loves books and of course loves to read. And he works in a different industry I work in. Totally different. I remember back when I was in my much younger years I said I should marry a man who is not an accountant. How boring it is to be talking about finance, accounting and numbers all the time. God grant that wish by giving me you - you're not an accountant, and you even dislike Math! I also wanted my man to come from a different province. So that when we would have kids in the future, our kids can enjoy summer by going to my province or his province! God grant that wish too. He gave me you who is from the island of Negros, from the somewhat-sleepy town of Binalbagan. hehehe :) God is good, really. He hears the desires of the heart.

What I wish and pray now is that someday we will be 'physically' together, like we would be living and working in the same city, or on a place where we don't have to spend on airfare. hehehehe. I wish you will someday go swimming with me, haha, or maybe join me at the gym. Haha. I am still hoping! :P But despite these things we don't agree on, I still love you. I really do!!!

Dearie, as my 12th month gift to you, I want you to better know me and who I was before you came. So here is my blog which I have kept for more than 10 years http://my-eyes.blogspot.com. This is unedited! :)

Happy reading!!! I love you dearie!!!

Going strong, getting there, loving more...

We're now almost one year as a couple!!! And it feels like we've been together for a long time like five years or more.

So how is our relationship going? It's going pretty well. We've had our share of arguments and disappointments.

I for a fact have discovered that in spite of the many things we have in common, we have a lot of differences too. And these differences have been our sources of arguments. Sometimes I would end up in tears, maybe frustrated. To be honest, there were times I doubted our relationship  - if it is something for keeps and something we can make it last forever. I have listened to stories of people (and friends) of their misadventures in love, of getting hurt, of being devastated.  All are horrible. But then, it made them better persons with stronger spirits. Still, I don't want our love story to end, no way! I love my guy deeply. And I have decided, I am letting him keep my heart forever, if he likes. :) I know he does! He always assures me of his love. Always. 

This is my first ever serious relationship and here are three things I have learned so far about love and relationships:

1 - Love is more than just a feeling. It is INDEED a decision as well.  It starts first with a feeling. But as time goes by, the feeling tends to fade away and it depends on how both of you do to make that feeling still fresh and new always. 

My one suggestion on keeping the love burning is - you have to be together, you have to do things together. Physical togetherness IS important. We are on a not-so-distant relationship (on the same country, on different provinces) and we make it always a point to see each other at least once a month. Not through Skype! So we make it an effort that I visit him in his city or he comes and visit me in my city. The distance is an hour and a half plane ride. Not bad. Now for couples who live on two different continents, that's very hard. Well then there is Skype. Do Skype everyday! 

The key here is you both make the decision to love each other and stay committed to your relationship. 

2 - Love came your way because you two had many things in common. Most likely. In my case, yes. We were  both timid people, quiet and a bit shy.  We both love books and travel.  But as the months went by, I realized how different we were too and these differences become sources of disagreements. And it's up to the couple how to patch things up. In our relationship, it is my guy who is good at patching things up, and making sure that these are sorted out as soon as possible. But this is not to say I am not making an effort.  I am, but my natural self gets in the way sometimes. So in the context of differences, I say, the key is respect and an open communication.  This is like Stephen Covey's  5th habit - seek first to understand, and then to be understood.

3 - Values and beliefs. It is important that your core values and beliefs are aligned. We both value family. We have good relationships with our parents and siblings.  We value money, and like fancy stuffs but know our boundaries and limits. So we don't splurge on expensive designer clothes and stuffs. We have the same religion (although we differ in our degrees of religiosity), still when it comes to discussions of religion, they are not much of a trouble to us. 

Three things for  now. And as we both grow in our relationship, and as our love deepens over time, I will learn more.

Keep on loving!